2023-09-29
Proverbs 18:24 NKJV
There are no shortcuts to overcoming shyness; you’re going to have to work at becoming comfortable being with people. But you can do it. Here are some surefire strategies that will help you make friends:
(1) You can’t deny the fact that you’re shy, but the more you keep talking about it, the more you reinforce its control over you. “Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction. The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences” (vv. 20-21 NLT). Why “own” something so damaging to your goals and relationships? “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV). Fear is a spirit, and you must learn to reject it! The fact that you have named yourself “shy” is no reason to shy away from chances to overcome it. Avoidance just reinforces your fear.
(2) Engage in an activity you really enjoy so that you’ll have something to chat about with passion and enthusiasm.
(3) Overlook your thumping heart, wobbly voice, sweat, aching stomach, or other signs of anxiety; they are not lethal. Grin. It’s contagious, and it’s vital to appearing approachable.
(4) Ask people to talk about their favourite subject – themselves. Then really listen and reply to their answers instead of worrying about what you will ask next.
Remember, you may be able to sway what people think about you, but you cannot control it – so stop thinking about their assessment or endorsement of you. Meditate on Philippians 4:6-9, and “the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:9 NKJV).
Soul food: S of S 5-8; Mark 15:21-32; Ps 91; Prov 21:28-31
Spreuke 18:24 NLV
Daar is geen kortpaaie om jou skaamheid te oorkom nie; jy sal daaraan moet werk om gemaklik tussen mense te wees. Jy kan dit egter doen. Hier is ‘n paar beproefde strategieë wat jou sal help om vriende te maak:
1) Jy kan nie ontken dat jy skaam is nie, maar hoe meer jy daaroor praat, hoe meer word die beheer wat dit oor jou uitoefen, versterk. ‘Deur die regte woorde te gebruik kan ‘n mens sy honger stil. Hy kan genoeg kry om te eet met wat hy sê. Die tong het mag oor dood en oor lewe. Hulle wat lief is om te praat, moet saamleef met die gevolge van hulle woorde’ (Spreuke 18:20-21 NLV). ‘Want God het ons nie ‘n gees van skugterheid gegee nie, maar van krag, liefde en selfbeheersing’ (2 Timoteus 1:7 NLV). Vrees is ‘n gees en jy moet leer om dit te verwerp! Die feit dat jy jouself as ‘skaam’ beskryf, is geen rede om van kanse om dit te oorkom, weg te skram nie. Vermyding versterk net jou vrees.
2) Neem deel aan ‘n aktiwiteit wat jy regtig geniet, sodat jy iets sal hê om met passie en entoesiasme oor te gesels.
3) Ignoreer jou kloppende hart, wankelende stem, sweet, seer maag of ander tekens van angs; hulle is nie dodelik nie. Glimlag. Dit is aansteeklik en noodsaaklik om toeganklik te lyk.
4) Vra mense om oor hul gunsteling onderwerp – hulself – te praat. Luister dan aandagtig en hou op om jouself te bekommer oor wat jy volgende moet vra.
Onthou, jy kan nie beheer wat mense van jou dink nie – hou dus op om daaroor te tob. Mediteer eerder op Filippense 4:6-9, ‘…Dan sal die God wat vrede gee, by julle wees’ (Filippense 4:9 NLV).
Sielskos: Hoogl 5-8; Mark 15:21-32; Ps 91; Spr 21:28-31
2023-09-28
Psalm 39:7 NKJV
Life seldom works out exactly the way we hope or think it will. When Job lost everything, he said, “I don’t have the strength to endure. I have nothing to live for… I am utterly helpless, without any chance of success” (Job 6:11, 13 NLT). Yet in the end, Job got back twice as much as he had lost. But the experiences and adversities he had gone through changed his attitude toward God profoundly. “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted… My ears have heard of you but now my eyes have seen you” (Job 42:2, 5 NIV).
What had Job discovered? That God is sovereign! He is not our servant, we are His servants. We must obey His Word in order to walk in His blessing – but the final outcome of all things rests in His hands and not ours.
Many of us struggle with control. We want control not only over our circumstances, but our goals, plans, relationships, and all that concerns us. Such fear is often an indication of an unconscious desire to be independent of God; to be the master of our own destiny. Sometimes it’s the result of growing up in a chaotic environment and resolving never to repeat the experiences of your earlier life.
Perhaps you think you’re in control of your life due to your educational, financial, or other achievements. It isn’t true. God enabled you to do everything that you have done. Paul writes, “But whatever I am now, it is all because God poured out his special favour on me” (1 Corinthians 15:10 NLT). Today God is in control – trust Him!
Soul food: S of S 1-4; Mark 15:12-20; Ps 13; Prov 21:22-27
Psalm 39:8 NLV
Die lewe werk selde uit soos ons hoop of dink dit sal. Toe Job alles verloor het, het hy gesê: ‘Ek het nie die krag om aan te gaan nie. Ek het geen doel om na te streef nie… Nee, ek is hulpeloos. Daar is geen kans dat ek kan slaag nie’ (Job 6:11, 13 NLV). Tog het Job op die ou einde twee keer soveel as wat hy verloor het, teruggekry. Die ervarings en teëspoed waardeur hy gegaan het, het egter sy houding teenoor God diep verander: ‘Ek weet nou U kan enigiets doen en niemand kan U keer nie… Tot nou toe het ek net met my ore van U gehoor, maar nou het ek U met my eie oë gesien’ (Job 42:2, 5 NLV). Wat het Job ontdek? Dat God almagtig is! Ons moet sy Woord gehoorsaam om in sy seëninge te kan wandel – maar die finale uitkoms van alle dinge rus in sy hande.
Baie van ons sukkel met beheer. Ons wil nie net ons eie omstandighede nie, maar ook ons doelwitte, planne, verhoudings en alles wat op ons betrekking het, beheer. Sulke vrese is dikwels die teken van ‘n onbewuste begeerte om onafhanklik van God te wees; om die argitek van ons eie lot te wees. Soms is dit omdat jy in ‘n chaotiese omgewing grootgeword het en besluit het om nooit die ervarings van jou vroeë lewe te herhaal nie. Miskien dink jy dat jy as gevolg van jou opleiding, finansies of ander prestasies in beheer van jou lewe is.
Dis nie waar nie. God het jou in staat gestel om alles wat jy al gedoen het, te doen. Paulus skryf: ‘Maar deur God se onverdiende goedheid is ek wat ek vandag is…’ (1 Korintiërs 15:10 NLV). God is vandag in beheer – vertrou Hom!
Sielskos: Hoogl 1-4; Mark 15:12-20; Ps 13; Spr 21:22-27
2023-09-27
Galatians 6:5 NLT
Being accountable for yourself, your thoughts, and your actions is a very important part of being a contributing member in a relationship. But sometimes we take things too far by assuming an unhealthy responsibility for others, then using it as an excuse for not being accountable for ourselves and our own circumstances.
For example, we blame an unplanned pregnancy for our failure to go to college. Or we blame our unhappiness on the fact that we stayed married for the sake of the children. We focus so much on other people and taking responsibility for their lives that we never take time to look for solutions to rise above our own situation. And eventually all the woe and hard times become our identity. We don’t just complain; we become chronic complainers.
Let’s be honest, sometimes our tales of woe are simply excuses, made-up versions of the truth to hide the fact that we have decided to blame everyone else for our circumstances. That way we don’t have to take responsibility for our lives. The fact is, we all make choices in life; to go or stay, to confront or ignore, to complain or look for a solution.
Whether it’s your spouse, your kids, or your parents, it’s never a good idea to take responsibility for others if you’re doing it to avoid deciding what you need to do for yourself. The Bible says, “Pay careful attention to your own work… then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct” (vv. 4-5 NLT).
Soul food: 2 Cor 11:16-13:14; Mark 15:1-11; Ps 54; Prov 21:18-21
