Psalm 41:10 NLV
Nie net moet ons spasie los vir onverwagte teleurstellings en onbekende veranderlikes in die lewe nie, ons moet ook besef dat ons onvermydelik deur ander mense verraai en seergemaak sal word. Miskien het hulle ons mislei deur ons te laat glo dat hulle betroubaar is, of dalk het hulle opreg begin maar deur die virusse van jaloesie en gierigheid geïnfekteer geraak. In alle geval, jy sal iewers voor verraad te staan kom. Selfs die psalmdigter, Dawid, het geskryf: ‘My beste vriend wat ek vertrou het, wat saam met my geëet het, selfs hy het sy rug op my gedraai.’ Ingesluit by die lys teenspoed waaronder Paulus in sy bediening gely het, is ‘valse medegelowiges’ (sien 2 Korintiërs 11:26).
Ja, soos een skrywer opmerk: ‘As jy lank genoeg lewe, sal jy agterkom hoe wisselvallig en selfsugtig die mens se hart kan wees.’ Dis dikwels die mense vir wie ons die liefste is en volkome vertrou, wat die meeste mag het om ons te verraai. Wat kan ons dus doen? Ons moet die seer en woede hanteer, sonder om toe te laat dat dit ons vir die langdurige nagevolge van bitterheid verblind. Moet ook nie van jou lewensdoelwitte of ander verhoudings afsien wanneer dit gebeur nie. Soos ‘n kind wat leer loop en deur ‘n boelie gepootjie word, moet jy weer opstaan en met jou reis voortgaan. Jy sal aan die begin ‘n bietjie seer en vol bloukolle wees, maar die rowe sal genees en jy sal sterker wees omdat jy die val oorleef het. Nadat hy die verraad van sy beste vriend betreur het, het Dawid vir God gesê: ‘Ek weet dat U my liefhet, want my vyand seëvier nie oor my nie. U hou my staande…’ (Psalm 41:12-13 NLV). Dis die wenhouding!
Sielskos: Eks 17:8-16; 2 Kor 1:3-7
Psalm 41:9 NLT
At some point in our lives, we’ll experience betrayal and be hurt by others. They might start a friendship with good intentions but gradually become infected with jealousy and greed, or they might deliberately set out to mislead us into believing we can trust them.
During his ministry, Paul wrote about how he was ‘in danger from false believers’ (2 Corinthians 11:26 NIV). And even the psalmist wrote: ‘My best friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me.’ It’s often the people we love and trust the most who have the greatest power to hurt us. That’s why it’s so important for us to pray about every relationship to make sure it’s where God wants us to be.
It’s really difficult when someone we’ve trusted, loved, or looked up to betrays us. But if it happens, the first thing to remember is that God won’t betray us. Although we might not understand His ways of working or what He’s doing, ‘in everything God works for the good of those who love him’ (Romans 8:28 NCV). He’ll bring something good out of every bad situation we go through.
We also need to deal with the hurt and anger we feel, so we don’t become weighted down with bitterness or let it put us off any future friendships. After lamenting about his friend who betrayed him, the psalmist said to God, ‘I know you are pleased with me, for you have not let my enemies triumph over me. You have preserved my life’ (Psalm 41:11-12 NLT). We’ll feel bruised for a while, but we need to get back up again and allow God’s love to heal our wounds.
Exo 17:8-16; 2 Cor 1:3-7
Psalm 41:9 NLT
Not only must we leave room for unexpected disappointments and unknown variables in life, we must realize that inevitably we’ll be betrayed and hurt by other people. Perhaps they deceived us into believing they were trustworthy, or they began sincerely and became infected with the viruses of jealousy and greed. In either case, you’ll face betrayal at some point along the way. Even the psalmist David wrote: “My best friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me.” And included in the list of adversities Paul suffered in his ministry, are “false brethren” (See 2 Corinthians 11:26). Yes, as one author writes, “If you live long enough, you will discover how fickle and selfish the human heart can be.” And it’s often the people we love most and trust implicitly who have the greatest power to betray us.
So what can we do? We must deal with the hurt and anger, without allowing either one to blind us to the long-range consequences of bitterness. And don’t be deterred from your life’s goals or other relationships when it happens. Like a child who has learned to walk and gets tripped up by a bully, get back on your feet and continue your journey. You’ll be a little sore and a bit bruised at first, but the scabs will heal, and you’ll be stronger for having survived the fall. After lamenting about his friend who betrayed him, David said to God, “I know you are pleased with me, for you have not let my enemies triumph over me. You have preserved my life” (Psalm 41:11-12 NLT). That’s the winning attitude!
Soul food: Exo 17:8-16; 2 Cor 1:3-7
Isaiah 30:15 NKJV
As problems arise in your relationships, you’ll be forced to become a translator, negotiator, diplomat, and peacekeeper. And good communication skills are essential. Nothing is more frustrating than being misunderstood, misheard, ignored, or misconstrued.
But talking isn’t always the answer. Sometimes it empowers the problem. Our mistake is we often give too much verbiage to the issue; in other words, we talk about it when we should be quiet and focus on a solution. God has given you the gifts you need to change the situation. Don’t talk about it; instead, do it! If we misuse words or talk out of hand, it can lead us away from a solution we would otherwise see. James tells us that what we say has immense power for destruction. “The tongue…a little member…boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth” (James 3:5 KJV). Just our tone of voice can escalate a conversation into a raging fire! Don’t be the person with flames coming out of your mouth. Tame your tongue. Grab hold of the situation when it arises and bring light and life to it! Our conversations are to be seasoned with grace (See Colossians 4:6). Speak positively, because God is still on the throne and He has a plan.
Responding appropriately often requires quietness, then careful reflection. And sometimes it’s better just to remain quiet. When you’re anxious, chances are you’ll overtalk. When you’re angry, you’ll make the situation worse. And when you’re too aggressive, you’ll lose instead of winning. The Bible says, “In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.” And that’s a scriptural principle that always works.
Soul food: Gen 28:1-30:24; Matt 19:1-14; Ps 66:1-12; Prov 6:20-22
Isaiah 30:15 NCV
In most relationships, we’ll encounter problems and conflict at some point. As those difficulties arise, we’ll often need to become translators, negotiators, diplomats, and peacekeepers in order to find a solution. And at times like these, good communication skills are essential.
It’s really frustrating to be misunderstood, misheard, or ignored. But we have to be careful how we approach it. We need to talk to understand each person’s perspective on what’s gone wrong, but sometimes we can end up empowering the problem if we focus too much on talking about what’s wrong rather than working towards finding a solution.
God has given us the gifts we need to change the situation. If we misuse our words or let them come from a place of anger, it can lead us away from a solution we would otherwise see. James tells us that what we say has immense power for destruction. ‘The tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire’ (James 3:5 NLT). Just our tone of voice can escalate a conversation into a raging fire, but our words can also bring calmness and light to a difficult situation.
Responding appropriately often needs quietness and careful reflection. There are times when it’s better to remain quiet and step away from the situation for a few minutes. When we’re anxious, chances are we’ll over-talk. When we’re angry, we can make the situation worse. And when we’re too aggressive, we risk damaging the relationship and hurting the other people involved. The Bible says, ‘If you will be calm and trust me, you will be strong.’ Let’s remember that whenever we need to have a difficult conversation.
Gen 28:1-30:24;Matt 19:1-14; Ps 66:1-12; Prov 6:20-22