Refuse to live in fear (1)

Advice columnist Ann Landers received about ten thousand letters every month. When asked to name the most common problem in her readers’ lives, she said, “Fear! People are afraid of losing their health, their wealth, and their loved ones. People are afraid of life itself.” If you allow it to, fear will control you. “Fear involves torment,” and until the power of fear is broken, it will keep tormenting you.

When fear rules your life, you cannot enjoy anything you do. And you certainly can’t enjoy God’s blessings. Dr. Caroline Leaf says that fear triggers “more than 1,400 known physical and chemical responses and activates more than thirty different hormones and neurotransmitters.” It’s at the root of all our stress. When fear causes a stress reaction in us, it actually “marinates” our body in toxic chemicals. This, of course, is terribly unhealthy and threatening to our physical well-being.

The fear of not being accepted by others can make you develop a phony personality, stifling your true self and hiding who God made you to be. The fear of failure will prevent you from trying new things or stretching yourself to do more than you feel comfortable doing. The fear of the future can cause you not to enjoy your life today. Fear is a spirit, and it doesn’t come from God. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV).

Reject the spirit of fear. Draw on God’s power, believe He loves you unconditionally, and begin to exercise the “sound mind” He has given you. Today, refuse to live in fear.

Soul food: 1 Kings 3-5; Matt 13:1-9; Ps 128; Prov 12:10-11

Start saying, ‘I can’

Maybe you have repeatedly heard the words “You can’t” throughout your life. Many people like to tell others what they cannot do. Even people you wouldn’t automatically consider to be against you – teachers, coaches, parents, family members, friends, and leaders of church groups or social events, who often fail to realize the power of their words over young lives. Many of us grew up thinking, “I can’t,” when that wasn’t true at all! No matter how often you have heard someone say, “You can’t,” stand on God’s Word and say, “Yes, I can!”

Miracles come in “cans” – our belief that we can do everything we need to do through Christ who is our strength (See Philippians 4:13). God believes in you, and now is the time for you to believe in yourself. This is a new day! Put the past and all its disheartening remarks behind you. Words that speak of failure come from the Enemy, not God, so determine right now not to allow the power of “you can’t” to affect you any longer.

In contrast to the Enemy, God’s Spirit encourages you and will do everything to urge you forward toward success in all areas of life. Facing the challenges of the promised land, God told Joshua three times, “Be… of good courage” (Joshua 1:9 NKJV). Always remember that if you feel “dis-couraged,” it’s from the Devil. And that if you feel “en-couraged,” it’s from God. Decide to agree with God and say to yourself, “I can!” Today let the power of God’s Word dominate the power of every negative word that has ever been spoken to you or about you.

Soul food: 1 Kings 1-2; Matt 12:38-50; Ps 45; Prov 12:7-9

Depend more on God

The secret of being able to do what you need to do is in realizing that you cannot do it alone; you can only do it through God’s empowering grace. God said to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you,” and the word “grace” includes “all of God you will ever need for whatever you face in life.” What a promise!

Sometimes we think we have to do it all. We forget that the power of Christ works through us, so we’re defeated before we even begin. “We are labourers together with God” (1 Corinthians 3:9 KJV). We can’t do God’s part, and He won’t do our part. He wants us to follow His leading, but He insists that we depend on Him every step of the way. This is hard on our ego which says, “I can do it myself!” Sometimes we have to be beaten into the ground before we let go of this kind of thinking.

Knowing that we have certain gifts and talents, we make the mistake of assuming we can use them to succeed in our own strength. No, unless God’s grace is operating through your gift, you won’t be adequate to the challenge. The Bible says, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given… us” (Romans 12:6 NIV). Grace is like electricity; in order for it to function effectively, you must stay plugged in. Jesus said: “No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me… apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:4-5 NIV). So, depend more on God.

Soul food: Heb 11:17-13:25; Matt 12:22-37; Ps 47; Prov 12:4-6

Through Christ, you can do it

Paul writes: “I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency]” (v. 13 AMPC). Paul believed he could handle whatever life threw at him. Do you believe that too?

What are the things that trigger your fear and cause you to say, “I could never do that”? Suddenly losing a loved one? Facing an unexpected illness? Having your adult child with two toddlers move into your fastidiously clean and tranquil house after you have had an empty nest for years? Going on a stringent diet because your life depends on it? Putting yourself on a budget to prevent foreclosure of your home? Suddenly having to take care of a disabled, elderly parent?

Most people have some sort of situation that truly seems impossible to them, something they are unsure they can handle. The truth is, while some situations may be extremely undesirable or challenging for you, God says you can do whatever you need to do in life. He doesn’t say everything will be simple for you; He doesn’t promise you will enjoy every little thing you do, but that you can enjoy life in the middle of doing them. How?

Through the power of the One, “Who infuses inner strength into you.” When you need money, you make a withdrawal from your bank account. When your car is empty, you make a withdrawal from the gas pump. So when life gets overwhelming, pray and make a withdrawal on God’s grace, love, strength, power, and guidance.

Soul food: Heb 9:1-11:16; Matt 12:15-21; Ps 97; Prov 12:1-3

Rebuilding your marriage (4)

You must be open with one another. You must be transparent, sensitive, responsive, and willing to trust one another. Stop and think about how you feel when the doctor is about to give you a shot. Your first reaction is to tighten up, right? Similarly, our hearts naturally tighten up after the pain of rejection, or betrayal, or neglect. It’s a reflex mechanism in the soul; a way we protect ourselves subconsciously. And it’s a great attribute anywhere else, except in marriage.

If you don’t turn off this mechanism, you will close your soul. This is the state where you love the person and you still come home to them every night, but you are braced, apprehensive, and no longer present in the moment. You have closed yourself off, for fear of disappointment and hurt.

Marriage is an open covenant consummated by physical intimacy, which removes all barriers and celebrates the joy of having nothing between the two of you. And it’s difficult to attain and maintain such intimacy both emotionally and physically if you have experienced betrayal and disappointment.

But there is good news. The central theme of the Bible is resurrection; that which is dead can live again. So if you have lost the closeness, you can get it back if you are willing to relax your soul and open your heart toward the other person. Solomon writes, “Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it” (vv. 6-7 NLT). If you seek God’s help and you are willing to work at it, you can rekindle your love and rebuild your marriage.

Soul food: Heb 5-8; Matt 12:1-14; Ps 93; Prov 11:30-31

Rebuilding your marriage (3)

You must be willing to forgive the other person. Loving makes you vulnerable. When you give someone your heart, they can break it. A stranger or casual acquaintance could say something that would roll off you like water off a duck’s back. But when your mate says the same thing to you, it can stir up feelings of anger and resentment.

No one stays married to anyone without some forgiveness involved. Think about it: Your relationship with God involves needing, asking for, and receiving His forgiveness. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus taught us to say: “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” Then He explained, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” (Matthew 6:12, 14 NKJV). The word “trespass” simply means “going where you have no right to go.” And we do that to each other in marriage.

Familiarity breeds contempt. When you feel continually taken for granted by your mate, it can build up and explode into an argument. Trespassing includes infidelity, among other things. If you don’t practice forgiveness in little things, it makes it much harder to extend and receive grace during the crisis moments. The art of forgiveness requires letting go of perfection and performance and grasping hold of grace and gratitude.

When the Bible says that a man must leave his father and mother (including his culture, background, and family language) and be joined to his wife (developing a new culture, background, and family language), they begin to bond together and become one (See Matthew 19:5 NKJV). But this bonding takes a lot of time and work. It also calls for focusing on what’s good in your mate and forgiving the rest.

Soul food: Heb 1-4; Matt 11:20-30; Ps 88:9b-18; Prov 11:27-29