2020-12-05
Galatians 5:26 TM
Does this sound familiar? “You think your day was tough? I dealt with thirty customers before lunch!” It’s easy to get sucked into “The Martyr’s Contest,” where your problems are worse than everybody else’s. And if you’re not careful, it can creep into your home.
Alicia Howe writes: “At day’s end when workplace frustrations are fresh and domestic tasks are looming, the setting is ripe…Spouses who desperately need each other to recognize their efforts, battle it out for the title of hardest-working person…We have a fundamental need for recognition from our spouses, and if we don’t get it, we devise strategies to evoke it.” The problem is, when we compare ourselves we can damage our relationship.
So with that in mind: (1) Be alert for unspoken pleas for encouragement. When your mate expresses frustration, don’t counter with one-upmanship. Jesus said, “Listen…if you have ears!” (Mark 4:9 GNT). What your mate needs is assurance that they can handle the problem.
(2) Express appreciation often. Envision your mate wearing a sign that says, ‘Appreciate me!’ The fact that society is inclined to assign gender-specific roles doesn’t give you the right to take your partner for granted.
(3) Reinforce your spouse’s efforts to help. Don’t criticize the way they fold laundry or rake the yard. When you do, you guarantee they won’t try to do it again.
Think of a four-pronged fork: (a) Be respectful of one another’s work. (b) Recognize that while your jobs are different, they can both be difficult. (c) Be sensitive, and flexible enough to help when it’s not ‘your job’ or ‘your turn.’ (d) Outlaw the complaint, “I’m tired.” It’s counter-productive, and chances are you are both tired of hearing it!
Soul food: Jos 11-13; John 16:19-33; Ps 147:1-11; Prov 29:1-5
2020-12-04
Exodus 18:19 NCV
In Exodus 18 we read: ‘Moses solved disagreements among the people, and the people stood around him from morning until night…Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “You are not doing this right…This is too much work for you; you can’t do it by yourself…I will give you some advice. I want God to be with you…Choose some capable men…Make these men officers over the people…Let these officers solve the disagreements…They can bring the hard cases to you, but they can decide the simple cases themselves. That will make it easier for you, because they will share the work with you”‘ (v.13-23 NCV).
The advice from Jethro (Moses’ father -in-law) in this passage highlights another example of what a good mentor should do. 1) He took an interest in Moses’ work, and understood the challenges Moses faced. Jethro had seen the number of people Moses had to deal with, and asked him questions about what he was doing (take a look at v.14-15).
2) He cared about Moses’ welfare and his relationship with God. Jethro was concerned that Moses would burn himself out, but also wanted Moses to continue following God’s will.
3) He was honest with Moses, and offered a practical solution to his problem. Jethro wasn’t afraid to tell Moses that he was handling things the wrong way, and gave him advice to help him improve the way he worked.
4) He taught Moses a valuable skill. Jethro encouraged Moses to delegate (a skill that people often find difficult).
When we’re looking for a mentor, we need to look for someone who we can trust, who takes an interest in us, and who’s willing to be honest and offer advice and teaching. Above all, a mentor should care about us and our relationship with God, and encourage us to be the best we can be.
Jos 8:30-10:43; John 16:12-18; Ps 2; Prov 28:25-28
Exodus 18:23 TM
In Exodus we read: “Moses took his seat…as judge…the people…stood around him from morning till evening. When his father-in-law saw all Moses was doing…he said…’What you are doing is not good. You…will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy…you cannot handle it alone…select capable men…Have them serve as judges…because they will share it with you…you will be able to stand the strain” (vv. 13-23 NIV).
The executive director of a fast-growing church says: “As a performance-based people-pleaser, I know how Moses must have felt. Quick growth and multiplying campuses put me in a situation where I was trying to lead and manage everything. In the process, I’d become worn out and frustrated. What I was doing wasn’t healthy for our team and the church. In the weeks that followed, we reorganized our staff, empowered leaders with more authority, and developed a pipeline for training and development at all levels. As leaders we must resist the temptation to be heroes and handle it all ourselves. It’s critical to reevaluate your leadership structure at least once a year. Ministry leadership is tough…but there are things you can do to develop others and spread the responsibility.”
It takes prayer, humility, and patience to develop the right people. But “if you handle the work this way, you’ll have the strength to carry out whatever God commands you, and the people…will flourish also.” It’s a win/win for everybody!
Soul food: Jos 8:30-10:43; John 16:12-18; Ps 2; Prov 28:25-28
Eksodus 18:23 NLV
Ons lees in Eksodus: ‘Die volgende dag moes Moses weer as regter vir die volk optree. Hulle het van vroegoggend tot laataand by Moses se tent tougestaan… Sy skoonpa sê toe vir hom: ‘Jy hanteer die saak nie reg nie. Jy en die volk sal die pas nie kan volhou nie. Jy kan dit nie alles op jou eie doen nie… jy moet… uit die volk bekwame en eerlike manne kry… Jy moet hulle aanstel om regters te wees… Hulle sal die las van jou skouers afhaal en dit saam met jou dra. As jy so maak en God jou lei om dit so te doen, sal jy die vrag kan dra en almal sal tevrede wees’ (verse 13-23 NLV).
Die uitvoerende direkteur van ‘n vinnig-groeiende kerk sê: ‘As iemand wat mense tevrede wil stel, weet ek hoe Moses moes gevoel het. Vinnige groei het my in ‘n posisie waar ek probeer het om alles te lei en te bestuur, geplaas. In die proses, het ek uitgemergel en gefrustreerd geraak. Wat ek besig was om te doen, was nie goed vir ons span of die kerk nie. In die weke wat gevolg het, het ons ons personeel herorganiseer, leiers met meer gesag bemagtig en ‘n pyplyn vir opleiding en ontwikkeling op alle vlakke ontwikkel. As leiers moet ons die versoeking weerstaan om helde te wees en alles self te hanteer. Dis krities om jaarliks jou leierskapstruktuur te evalueer. Leierskap in die bediening is moeilik, maar daar is dinge wat jy kan doen om ander mense te ontwikkel en die verantwoordelikheid te versprei.’
Dit verg gebed, nederigheid en geduld om die regte mense te ontwikkel. As jy dit egter doen en ‘God jou lei om dit so te doen, sal jy die vrag kan dra en almal sal tevrede wees.’ Dis ‘n wen-wen situasie vir almal!
Sielskos: Jos 8:30-10:43; Joh 16:12-18; Ps 2; Spr 28:25-28
2020-12-03
2 Timothy 2:2 NLT
Churches can have amazing spaces to worship in, contemporary websites and social media feeds, and all kinds of technology to support their mission, but it’s the people that really bring God’s Word to life. ‘We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us’ (2 Corinthians 5:20 NIV), which means it’s important that we’re constantly looking for ways to improve ourselves so we can be the best examples of God’s ambassadors that it’s possible for us to be. One of the ways we can do this is by finding a mentor.
A mentor is someone who teaches us, supports us, holds us accountable, helps us to see where we need to improve, and encourages us to grow. The apostle Paul set us a great example of what to look for in a mentor.
1) He was a good role-model. He said: ‘Follow my example, as I follow the example for Christ’ (1 Corinthians 11:1 NIV). He put his teaching and advice into practice in his own life. We should be wary of someone who expects us to follow their advice without following it through for themselves.
2) He wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Paul wrote: ‘I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling’ (1 Corinthians 2:3 NIV). We should look for a mentor who isn’t afraid to be open and honest about their own flaws and weaknesses – we can learn a lot from the way they handle them.
3) He could see the potential in people. Paul recognised and encouraged Timothy’s gift for teaching: ‘Teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on.’ We need a mentor who can draw out our potential and encourage us to use our gifts for God’s kingdom.
Jos 5:1-8:29; John 16:1-11; Ps 130; Prov 28:21-24
