2024-03-11
Genesis 33:5 NKJV
Due to the divorce rate today, both inside the church and outside, couples are falling in love and facing the challenge of blending two families into one. Here are some of those challenges: visiting rights, custodial care, court intervention, and ex-in-law involvement. Add to that a mountain of paperwork and legal specifications, and it’s like negotiating an international peace treaty.
You chose to marry your new spouse, but your children didn’t get that choice. So, it’s not enough to bring them all together under the same roof and say, “Play nice.” Their world has been turned upside down, and you must allow them time to digest the situation and find their place in the new order of things. “Love will solve all our problems” is a nice sentiment, but it’s not true. You say, “But the Bible says, ‘Love never fails'” (1 Corinthians 13:8 NKJV). Yes, and it also says, “Love suffers long and is kind” (v. 4 NKJV). You’re going to need truckloads of patience and kindness to make this work.
So: (1) Prepare yourself and your children for the changes that are about to take place.
(2) Listen to your child’s fears without saying, “Don’t be silly, everything will be okay.” For as long as they need to talk, that’s how long you need to listen.
(3) Pray, pray, pray! Ask God to give you His plan, so that this merger can be as painless and stress-free as possible. Your new mate may meet your personal needs for love and security – but remember that your children have those same needs too.
Soul food: 2 Kings 1:1-4:17; Matt 22:15-33; Ps 106:24-48; Prov 7:3-5
Genesis 33:5 NLV
Weens die egskeidingsyfer vandag, beide binne die kerk en daar buite, raak paartjies verlief en staar die uitdaging in die gesig om twee gesinne in een te verander. Hier is ‘n paar van daardie uitdagings: besoekregte, hofingryping en betrokkenheid van die voormalige skoonouers. Voeg daarby ‘n berg papierwerk en wetlike spesifikasies en dit is soos om ‘n internasionale vredesverdrag te beding.
Jy het gekies om met jou nuwe eggenoot te trou, maar jou kinders het nie daardie keuse gehad nie. Dit is dus nie genoeg om hulle onder een dak saam te bring en te sê: ‘Wees mooi met mekaar,’ nie. Hulle wêreld is op sy kop gekeer en jy moet hulle tyd gee om die situasie te verwerk en hulle plek in die nuwe omstandighede te vind. ‘Die liefde sal al ons probleme oorkom,’ is ‘n mooi gedagte, maar dis nie waar nie. Jy sê: “Maar die Bybel sê: ‘Die liefde sal nooit vergaan nie…'” (1 Korintiërs 13:8 NLV). Ja, maar dit sê ook: ‘Die liefde is geduldig en vriendelik…’ (vers 4 NLV).
Jy gaan ‘n berg geduld en vriendelikheid nodig hê om die situasie te maak werk. Dus:
1) Berei jouself en jou kinders vir die veranderinge wat gaan plaasvind, voor.
2) Luister na jou kinders se vrese, sonder om te sê: ‘Moenie laf wees nie, alles sal uitwerk.’ Vir so lank as wat hulle nodig het om daaroor te praat, so lank moet jy na hulle luister.
3) Bid, bid, bid! Vra God om vir jou sy plan te gee om hierdie samevoeging so pynloos en stresvry as moontlik te maak. Jou nuwe maat mag dalk aan jou persoonlike behoeftes vir liefde en sekuriteit voldoen – maar onthou dat jou kinders dieselfde behoeftes het.
Sielskos: 2 Kon 1:1-4:17; Matt 22:15-33; Ps 106:24-48; Spr 7:3-5
2024-03-10
Romans 12:3 NKJV
An old, tired looking dog wandered into a woman’s yard. She could tell from looking at him that he had a good home. He followed her inside, down the hall, and promptly fell asleep. Two hours later, he went to the door and she let him out. The next day he came back, resumed his position, and napped for a couple of hours. This went on for a week. Curious, the woman pinned this note to his collar: “Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.” The next day, the dog showed up with a note that read: “He lives at home with ten children – apparently he needs some quiet time. Can I come with him tomorrow?”
If you’re a mother, you can relate! Carla Barnhill, author of The Myth of the Perfect Mother, writes: “I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep trying to be SuperMom. I wasn’t all that good at it to begin with. I’ve tried to be the perfect combination of devoted mom… loving wife… solid Christian… and have failed miserably… But even if I had been able to pull all of that off, I’m not convinced any of us should… we don’t have to be impressive… [or] follow some random rules about what motherhood should look like. Grace means we already matter to the One who matters most, our good, loving, and grace-filled God! So let’s drop our capes, put down our halos, retire our medals, and let ourselves be the sometimes flawed, sometimes awesome moms God made us to be.”
In other words: “Try to have a sane estimate of your capabilities.”
Soul food: Exo 20:17; 2 Kings 5:1-27; Ecc 5:10; Luke 12:13-31
Romeine 12:3 NLV
‘n Ou, moeë hond het by ‘n vrou se erf ingestap. Sy kon aan sy voorkoms sien dat hy uit ‘n goeie huis kom. Hy het haar by die huis in gevolg en dadelik aan die slaap geraak. Twee ure later, het hy na die deur toe gestap en sy het hom uitgelaat. Die volgende dag het hy teruggekeer, weer sy posisie ingeneem en vir ‘n paar uur geslaap. Dit het vir ‘n week so aangegaan. Die vrou was nuuskierig en het ‘n nota aan sy halsband vasgemaak: ‘Jou hond kom elke middag na my huis toe vir ‘n middagslapie.’ Die volgende dag het die hond met ‘n nota opgedaag: ‘Hy lewe in ‘n huis saam met tien kinders – lyk my hy het bietjie alleentyd nodig. Kan ek môre saam met hom kom?’ As jy ‘n ma is, kan jy jou hiermee vereenselwig!
Carla Barnhill, die outeur van The Myth of the Perfect Mother, skryf: ‘Ek kan dit nie meer doen nie. Ek kan nie aanhou om SuperMa te probeer wees nie. Ek het probeer om die perfekte kombinasie van toegewyde ma, liefdevolle vrou en goeie Christen te wees… en ek het klaaglik misluk. Selfs al kon ek dit alles regkry, is ek nie oortuig dat enigeen van ons dit moet regkry nie. Ons hoef nie indrukwekkend te wees of ‘n paar willekeurige reëls te volg oor hoe moederskap moet lyk nie. Genade beteken dat ons reeds vir die Een wat die meeste saak maak, saak maak – ons goeie, liefdevolle en genadige God! Kom ons los dus ons mantels, sit ons stralekranse neer, pak ons medaljes weg en laat ons die soms gebrekkige, soms wonderlike mammas wees wat God ons gemaak het om te wees.’
Met ander woorde: ‘…jy [moet] jouself nugter… beoordeel…’
Sielskos: Eks 20:17; 2 Kon 5:1-27; Pred 5:10; Luk 12:13-31
2024-03-09
Philippians 2:14 NIV
Some cancers, like skin cancer, are more obvious and you can remove them. Then there is the kind that grows undetected and it destroys your body. Complaining is like that; it impacts your health and sabotages your success. Paul says, “Do everything without grumbling or arguing.”
Dr. Ann Shorb writes: “If you find yourself… feeling negative and down… listen to what’s being said around you. Is there a lot of grumbling and complaining? Are the people you spend time with constantly expressing discouraging thoughts and feelings?… Maybe you are the one… griping and complaining… Many times we become our own worst enemy by developing angry or bitter attitudes… Your thoughts and attitudes are your choice. Where you put your mind is up to you!… Follow what the apostle Paul wrote about putting off the negative and putting on the positive (See Colossians 3: 1-15 and Ephesians 4:20-32) …Acknowledge that there are problems… but don’t dwell on them… Do what you can to remedy the situation. Remember… you can never change another person, only yourself and your attitudes… Find the positives… Focus on these and be thankful that God promises to be with you… through the hard times… Use Bible verses and inspirational sayings to re-focus when your thinking starts to go [downhill]… By changing your thinking you change your outlook, and by changing your outlook you change your life.”
To one person the world looks desolate; to another the same world looks rich and interesting. What you see depends mainly on what you look for. Make up your mind not to complain for a day. Then challenge yourself not to complain for a week. You will be amazed at how much better you feel.
Soul food: Rev 19-22; Matt 22:1-14; Ps 106:1-23; Prov 7:1-2
