Die gevare van ‘superouerskap’

Spreuke 23:24-25 NLV

Jou doelwit as ouer moenie wees om perfekte kinders groot te maak nie, maar om aan hulle die wysheid te gee wat nodig is om suksesvol te kan leef. Dit kan twee uitdagings veroorsaak: ouerlike verwaarlosing of ouerlike obsessie. Die tweede een kom voor by ouers wat obsessief oor hulle kinders is en geen tyd vir ontspanning, romanse of rus laat nie. Hierdie mense sal nie eers Moeder Teresa as ‘n kinderoppasser oorweeg nie! Die beweegredes van obsessiewe ouers mag dalk goed wees, maar hulle beheptheid kan tot drie ernstige probleme lei: 1) Hulle maak hulle kinders die spil waarom alles draai, wat nie in die kinders se beste belang is nie. As jy jou kinders die middelpunt van die heelal maak, wag ‘n groot skok op hulle wanneer hulle die regte wêreld betree. 2) Emosionele en fisiese moegheid lei tot ‘ouerlike uitbranding.’ Net soos ‘n battery nie aanhoudend gedreineer kan word nie, het jy tyd nodig om fisies, emosioneel en geestelik te herlaai. Wanneer jy dit nie doen nie, voel almal om jou die negatiewe effek daarvan. 3) ‘Superouerskap’ kan vernietigend in ‘n huwelik wees, veral wanneer die ma die een is wat daartoe neig. ‘n Pa kan sy kinders begin verwyt omdat hulle sy vrou van hom af wegneem, of die vrou mag dalk dink dat haar man selfsugtig is omdat hy nie so toegewyd soos sy aan hulle kinders is nie. In beide gevalle word ‘n wig tussen hulle ingedryf, wat die familie uiteindelik kan vernietig. Matigheid of balans, is die sleutel tot ‘n gesonde en gelukkige familielewe.

Sielskos: 1 Kor 9:24-27; Num 6:1-8; Spr 25:28

Hannah’s story

1 Samuel 1:15 NIV

There are many examples of godly mothers in the Bible. One of them is Hannah. She was the mother of Samuel, one of the prophets found in the Old Testament. There are a few things we can learn from her story. Firstly, it teaches us that we should always show compassion towards others, even when we don’t understand what they’re going through. Hannah was unable to have children and it was a huge issue for her. Her husband Elkanah simply said: ‘Why is your heart sad? Am I not more to you than ten sons?’ (1 Samuel 1:8 ESV). And Elkanah’s other wife Peninnah provoked and teased her. There will be people on this Mother’s Day who are unable to have children or who have lost children, and we might not be able to understand that grief, but we should react with compassion and sensitivity. Secondly, Hannah knew where to take her sadness. She went to God to tell Him everything. When Eli the priest found her, she told him ‘I was pouring out my soul to the Lord.’ And when we’re facing overwhelming emotions and desperate situations, we need to do the same. God’s always there to listen and comfort us. Finally, we see Hannah keeping her promise to God. When she was praying for a child, she promised that if she had one she would give it to God. When she gave birth to Samuel, she remembered her promise. She said: ‘When the boy is old enough to eat solid food…I will give him to the LORD’ (1 Samuel 1:22 NCV). Hannah was so devoted to God that she was willing to give Him the son she had longed for. That’s the kind of devotion we need to have too.

1 Cor 9:24-27; Num 6:1-8; Prov 25:28

The dangers of “super parenting”

Proverbs 23:24-25 NLT

Your goal as a parent should not be to raise perfect children, but to impart to them the wisdom needed for successful living. This raises two challenges: parental neglect and parental obsession. The second one is prevalent among parents who become obsessed with their children, leaving them no time for recreation, romance, or rest. These folks probably wouldn’t even consider Mother Teresa to be qualified as their babysitter! The motives of obsessive parents may be good, but their preoccupation can lead to three serious problems: (1) Making children the centerpiece of life, which is not in their best interests. If you make children the center of the universe, they are in for a rude awakening when they get out into the real world. (2) Emotional and physical fatigue produces what is known as “parental burnout.” Just as a battery cannot continually be drained, you need time to recharge physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When you don’t get it, you run on your nerves and everybody around you feels the negative effects. (3) “Super parenting” can be destructive to a marriage, especially when the mother is the one so inclined. A father may come to resent the children for taking his wife away from him, or she may think her husband is selfish because he doesn’t match her commitment to the kids. Either way, a wedge is driven between them that could eventually destroy the family. The Bible says, “Let your moderation be known unto all men” (Philippians 4:5). Moderation, or balance, is the key to a healthy and happy family life.

Soul food: 1 Cor 9:24-27; Num 6:1-8; Prov 25:28

Don’t yield an inch to fear

Psalm 118:6 NIV

You’ll always have to deal with fear in one form or another. And your fears will be different at different seasons of life. Once you accept that, you can make progress. For example, Julius Caesar conquered the world but he was terrified of thunder. Peter the Great of Russia cried like a child when he had to cross bridges. The celebrated British writer Dr. Samuel Johnson wouldn’t enter a room left foot first. If he accidentally did, he backed up and reentered with his right one. (Talk about putting your best foot forward!) If you let it control you, fear will keep you from living to the fullest. Fear breeds inaction, inaction breeds lack of experience, lack of experience breeds ignorance, and ignorance breeds fear. It’s a cycle, and if you’re caught in it here are some Scriptures that can help you: (1) “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee” (Isaiah 26:3). (2) “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27). (3) “When a man’s ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him” (Proverbs 16:7). (4) “In God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me” (Psalm 56:4). (5) “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). Personalize these Scriptures in prayer, stand on them, and don’t yield an inch to fear.

Soul food: Lev 5-7; Luke 20:27-33; Ps 72:1-11; Prov 9:1-6

Moenie ‘n sentimeter aan vrees toegee nie

Psalm 118:6 NLV

Jy sal altyd vrees in een of ander vorm moet hanteer. Jou vrese sal ook verskil in jou verskillende lewenseisoene. Sodra jy dit aanvaar, kan jy vooruitgang maak. Julius Ceasar het byvoorbeeld die wêreld oorwin, maar hy was bang vir donderweer. Petrus die Grote van Rusland, het soos ‘n kind gehuil wanneer hy brûe moes oorsteek. Die gevierde Britse skrywer, dr Samuel Johnson, moes met sy linkervoet ‘n kamer binnegaan. As hy per ongeluk sy regtervoet gebruik het, het hy uitgegaan en weer met sy linkervoet binne gekom. (Praat van jou beste voetjie voorsit!). As jy toelaat dat vrees jou beheer, sal vrees jou daarvan weerhou om jou lewe ten volle uit te leef. Vrees teel onaktiwiteit, onaktiwiteit teel gebrek aan ervaring, gebrek aan ervaring teel onkunde en onkunde teel vrees. As jy in hierdie siklus vasgevang is, is hier ‘n paar Skrifgedeeltes wat jou kan help: 1) ‘U bewaar elkeen wat op U vertrou in vrede, die mense wie se gedagtes op U gerig is’ (Jesaja 26:3 NLV). 2) ‘Ek laat vir julle my vrede na; my vrede deel Ek met julle. Ek gee nie soos die wêreld gee nie. Julle moet regtig nie ontsteld of beangs word nie’ (Johannes 14:27 NLV). 3) ‘As die Here gelukkig is met die manier waarop iemand lewe, sal Hy selfs sy vyande in vrede met hom laat lewe’ (Spreuke 16:7 NLV). 4) ‘…in God is my vertroue; ek sal nie vrees nie. Wat kan mense aan my doen?’ (Psalm 56:5 NLV). 5) ‘Want God het ons nie ‘n gees van skugterheid gegee nie, maar van krag, liefde en selfbeheersing’ (2 Timoteus 1:7 NLV). Verpersoonlik hierdie Skrifgedeeltes in gebed, steun op hulle en moenie ‘n sentimeter aan vrees toegee nie.

Sielskos: Lev 5-7; Luk 20:27-33; Ps 72:1-11; Spr 9:1-6