2018-02-18
James 3:13 NIV
In the first seven seconds people often decide they do or don’t want to hear what you have to say. It may not be fair – but it’s a fact. In How to Talk So People Listen, communication expert Sonya Hamlin says when it comes to hearing and seeing, sight is the more important and powerful sense. She writes: “We remember 85 to 90 percent of what we see, but less than 15 percent of what we hear. Countless numbers of people have lost sales opportunities, ruined job interviews, or been turned down for dates because their appearance didn’t match someone else’s expectations. If you’re wise you’ll ask your family and friends if you’re inclined to display nonverbal cues that capture their attention and take the focus off what you’re trying to communicate.” One pastor says: “I never realized how many nonverbal mistakes I was making until I saw myself on video. Now it’s my regular practice to go back and watch myself to determine not only what I said, but also how I said it. The tape doesn’t lie.” Great actors can tell a story without saying a word, simply by using facial expressions. And whether you are aware of it or not, you convey a message by the expression on your face. Even people who pride themselves on “playing with a poker face,” and on their ability to not let other people know what they’re really thinking, convey an unspoken message of detachment. And that makes meaningful connection with other people well-nigh impossible. If your face is going to “talk” – and it is – make sure you’re communicating the right thing.
Soul food: Exo 20:14; Prov 6:23-35; Matt 5:27-30; 1 Cor 6:9-20
Jakobus 3:13 DB
In die eerste sewe sekondes besluit mense gereeld of hulle wil luister na wat jy te sê het, of nie. Dit mag dalk nie regverdig wees nie, maar dis ‘n feit. In How to Talk So People Listen, sê die kommunikasiekundige, Sonya Hamlin, dat wanneer dit kom by hoor en sien, sien die belangrikste en kragtigste sintuig van die twee is. Sy skryf: ‘Ons onthou 85 tot 90 persent van wat ons sien, maar minder as 15 persent van dit wat ons hoor. Ontelbare mense het verkoopsgeleenthede verloor, werksonderhoude geruïneer of is afsprake geweier omdat hulle voorkoms nie aan iemand anders se verwagtinge voldoen het nie. As jy wys is, sal jy jou vriende en familie vra of jy geneig is om nie-verbale leidrade uit te beeld wat hulle aandag trek en die fokus van dit wat jy probeer kommunikeer, aflei. ‘n Pastoor sê: ‘Ek het nooit besef hoeveel nie-verbale foute ek maak tot ek myself op video gesien het nie. Nou is dit ‘n gereelde gewoonte van my om terug te gaan en na myself te kyk om nie net wat ek gesê het te bepaal nie, maar ook hoe ek dit gesê het. Die beeldmateriaal lieg nie.’ Goeie akteurs kan ‘n storie vertel sonder om ‘n woord te sê, deur net hulle gesigsuitdrukkings te gebruik. Of jy nou daarvan bewus is of nie, jy straal ook ‘n boodskap met die uitdrukking op jou gesig uit. Selfs mense wat trots daarop is dat hulle nie veel emosie of gedagtes in hulle gesigte wys nie, straal tog ‘n ongesproke boodskap van afsydigheid uit. Dit maak betekenisvolle kommunikasie met ander mense amper onmoontlik. As jou gesig namens jou gaan praat – en dit gaan – maak seker dat dit die regte boodskap kommunikeer.
Sielskos: Eks 20:14; Spr 6:23-35; Matt 5:27-30; 1 Kor 6:9-20
2018-02-17
Matteus 5:16 NLV
Jesus het gesê, ‘Julle moet so voorbeeldig lewe dat julle ‘n helder lig sal laat uitstraal. Dan sal die mense dit sien, en julle hemelse Vader daarvoor prys!’ Wanneer jy in die donker is, sien jy die lig voor jy die ligdraer sien. Die ou gesegde wat sê, ‘Eerste indrukke is blywende indrukke,’ is waar. ‘n Kommunikasiekundige sê, ‘Jy het net sewe sekondes om die regte eerste indruk te maak. Sodra jy jou binnekoms maak, is daar verbale en nie-verbale tekens wat bepaal hoe ander mense jou sien. In besigheid kan daardie noodsaaklike sewe sekondes bepaal of jy die kliënt gaan oortuig en of jy ‘n gespanne onderhandeling gaan wen. Is jy vol selfvertroue? Gemaklik? Opreg? Bly om daar te wees? In daardie eerste sewe sekondes gee jy jou gehoor verskeie leidrade. Of mense dit nou besef of nie, hulle reageer onmiddellik teenoor jou gesigsuitdrukkings, gebare, houding en energie. Hulle reageer op jou stem – die toon en toonhoogte daarvan. Gehore, of hulle nou uit een of eenhonderd mense bestaan, som instinktief jou motiewe en houding op.’ Of jy nou praat, verkoop, onderhoude voer of op sosiale afsprake gaan, jou voorkoms, houding en benadering maak al die verskil in die wêreld. Mense kan baie in sewe sekondes van jou te wete kom. Hulle mag dalk besluit dat hulle nie belangstel in wat jy te sê het nie, of hulle kan verbaas wees oor hoe aangetrokke hulle tot jou voel. Henry Ward Beecher het gesê, ‘Daar is mense so stralend, so geniaal, so gaaf, so plesierig, dat jy instinktief in hulle teenwoordigheid voel dat hulle goed is vir jou, wie se aankoms in ‘n kamer is soos om ‘n brandende lamp binne te bring.’
Sielskos: Heb 5-8; Matt 15:1-14; Ps 149; Spr 4:25-27
Matthew 5:16 NKJV
Jesus said, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” When you’re in darkness, you see the light before you see the carrier of the light, right? The old saying, “First impressions are lasting impressions,” is true. One communications expert says: “You’ve got just seven seconds to make the right first impression. As soon as you make your entrance, you broadcast verbal and nonverbal signals that determine how others see you. In business those crucial first seven seconds can decide whether you win that new account, or succeed in a tense negotiation. Are you confident? Comfortable? Sincere? Glad to be there? In that first seven seconds you shower your audience with subtle ‘clues.’ And whether people realize it or not, they respond immediately to your facial expressions, gestures, stance, and energy. They react to your voice – the tone and pitch. Audiences, whether one or one hundred, instinctively size up your motives and attitudes.” Whether you’re speaking, selling, interviewing, or dating, your appearance, attitude, and approach make all the difference in the world. People can tell a lot in seven seconds. They may decide they don’t want to hear anything you have to say, or they may be struck by how much they’re drawn to you. Henry Ward Beecher said: “There are persons so radiant, so genial, so kind, so pleasure-bearing, that you instinctively feel in their presence that they do you good, whose coming into a room is like bringing a shining lamp there.”
Soul food: Heb 5-8; Matt 15:1-14; Ps 149; Prov 4:25-27
2018-02-16
Jeremiah 15:16 NIV
People in Bible times dealt with depression too. Elijah said, “I have had enough, Lord…Take my life” (1 Kings 19:4 NIV). Job said, “I loathe my very life” (Job 10:1 NIV). David wrote, “My soul is downcast” (Psalm 42:6 NIV). Now, when you’re clinically depressed you should seek professional help. But the kind of depression we’re talking about here is when your motivation is drained, your desire to pursue God is gone, your conversations have turned sour, you’re blind to your blessings, your enthusiasm is forced, and you’re in a daze regarding the future. Here are some possible causes: (1) Sin. Sin is like a stone in your shoe; you’ll have no peace until you get it out. No vacation, job change, relationship change, or doctor will heal it. But the blood of Jesus will cleanse it (See 1 John 1:7). (2) Greed. King Ahab’s obsession with owning Naboth’s vineyard made him miserable and affected his entire family (See 1 Kings 21:4). (3) Comparisons. Constantly comparing yourself to others will depress you (See 2 Corinthians 10:12). (4) Speaking negatively. “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences” (Proverbs 18:21 NLT). (5) Fatigue. Jesus called His disciples aside to rest. Why? Because He recognized that when fatigue walks in, faith walks out (See Mark 6:31). (6) Unforgiveness. When you refuse to forgive someone, you carry them like an albatross around your neck. So what’s the remedy for depression? Often it starts with prayer and Bible reading. Jeremiah, who battled depression, wrote, “When your words came, I ate them…they were my joy and my heart’s delight.”
Soul food: Heb 1-4; Matt 14:22-36; Ps 145:14-21; Prov 4:23-24
