2025-06-26
Hebrews 12:14 NKJV
In order to resolve conflict, do these:
(1) Focus on the person’s behaviour and stay away from remarks about their character. Saying, “It was unacceptable for you to open my mail” is better than “I can’t believe you were so nosy!”
(2) Try to understand the other person’s behaviour instead of justifying your own. This will require active listening. Listening validates the other person’s feelings and provides them with the motivation to listen to you. “The Lord God has given Me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him who is weary. He awakens Me morning by morning, He awakens My ear to hear as the learned. The Lord God has opened My ear” (Isaiah 50:4-5 NKJV).
(3) Resolve one problem at a time. Don’t muddy the conversation with unrelated matters between you. Discuss them later.
(4) Agree on future behaviour in case the situation occurs again.
Strife is stressful, and it’s to your benefit to restrict it. You cannot remove conflicts entirely because everybody is unique, with different upbringings, ways of communicating, and desires. But you can face the problems, resolve them, and mature as a result.
“How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony! For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron’s head, that ran down his beard and onto the border of his robe. Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon that falls on the mountains of Zion. And there the Lord has pronounced his blessing” (Psalm 133:1-3 NLT). If you want to have peace and walk in God’s blessing, work for reconciliation.
Soul food: Jer 28-30; Matt 3:11-4:11; Ps 95; Prov 14:29-33
2025-06-25
Matthew 18:15 KJV
Few things in life cause more stress than unresolved conflict. It will elevate your blood pressure and consume your thoughts until you resolve it, so if you’re wise, you will deal with it right away. Not all people feel this way. Even though Jesus commanded us to deal with it, many Christians refrain from saying anything for the sake of peace. Not so. Unresolved conflict will affect your peace of mind, your productivity, and your attitude toward others, so it must be dealt with. Additionally, the problem with refusing to face an issue is that it will probably occur again. So, according to an interpersonal communications adviser, do these three things:
(1) “Ask God to give you His words to say so that His purpose will be achieved. ‘My word… will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it’ (Isaiah 55:11 NIV).
(2) Empty your emotions out to God before engaging the offender. Emotions tend to get in the way of facts and can hinder objective thinking. This isn’t as hard as it may sound once you decide you are going to make every effort to settle the issue in a harmonious way. ‘If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone’ (Romans 12:18 NIV).
(3) Be clear as to what you perceive the problem to be. Avoid vague arguments that leave room for misinterpretation. For example, ‘You need to do better’ does not really clarify the problem.” If your goal is to heal the relationship, God will work with you.
Soul food: Jer 25-27; Matt 2:16-3:10; Ps 64; Prov 14:25-28
2025-06-24
Psalm 40:1 NKJV
When you’re up against a problem that seems too big for you or feel like you are “in over your head” and you don’t know what to do or which way to go, use the waiting strategy. That’s the one David the psalmist used. And it worked for him: “I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth-praise to our God… Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust… My ears You have opened” (vv. 1-4, 6 NKJV).
Waiting is hard to do when you are anxious. And waiting patiently is even harder. Stop and think who you are waiting for: the Lord. He is Lord of every situation, including yours. Perhaps this illustration will help you.
Arthur McKinsey writes: “If you think of a… problem as being like a medieval walled city, then a lot of people will attack it head on, like a battering ram. They will storm the gates and try to smash through the defences with sheer intellectual power and brilliance… just camp outside the city. I wait. And I think. Until one day – maybe after I’ve turned to a completely different problem – the drawbridge comes down and the defenders say, ‘We surrender.’ The answer to the problem comes all at once.”
Waiting for God to work is that way. While you are waiting, He is working on your behalf.
Soul food: Jer 22-24; Matt 2:1-15; Ps 59:9-17; Prov 14:23-24
2025-06-23
John 15:11 NKJV
To keep from burning out, do this:
(1) Join a support group. Ask yourself, who fills the role of Paul to your Timothy? Who teaches you to pray like Jesus and John the Baptist taught their disciples? With whom can you share your struggles? The Bible says, “As iron sharpens iron… a friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 27:17 NLT). Ministry peers understand your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs and can suggest new, refreshing spiritual practices.
(2) Use the middle two letters of the alphabet – NO – without apology. Know your gifts and your limitations. Face your fears; don’t avoid them by burying them and pretending they don’t exist. And above all, try to avoid falling into a state of helplessness. Take time to develop beneficial coping strategies. Don’t imagine that ordinary events are catastrophes. “They’re out to get me” is a sure sign of burnout! And don’t adhere to a certain viewpoint just because you always have. Like outdated clothes, it can become ill-fitting and absurd.
(3) Realize it’s not wrong to have fun. Your body won’t allow you to laugh and develop an ulcer at the same time – and that’s a good thing! Jesus said, “These things I have spoken… that My joy may remain in you, and… your joy may be full.” He also said that unless you “become as little children, ye shall not enter… the kingdom” (Matthew 18:3 KJV). Kids don’t try to run the world single-handedly or obsess about the work that’s piling up; they live in the moment.
The only advantage to living with stress is you get to meet Jesus earlier – but given more time, your reward may have been even greater!
Soul food: Jer 18-21; Matt 1; Ps 59:1-8; Prov 14:21-22
2025-06-22
1 Timothy 1:12 AMPC
Did you know that people in the helping professions experience a higher rate of drug abuse, alcoholism, and suicide than other professions? A major contributing factor is they only hear and see the troubles and negative side of people’s lives. So in order to stay effective, you must learn to do these:
(1) Cultivate new disciplines. Shut the door, let your phone calls go to voicemail, and relax. Above all don’t be surprised when troubles come. Jesus said they would (See John 16:33). Author M. Scott Peck says when you anticipate that life will be hard, it usually turns out to be less so.
(2) Take time off regularly. And on your days off, do something different. Remember, your Creator never intended you to put in more hours than He did! Spurgeon said, “Repose is as needful to the mind as sleep to the body… If we do not rest, we shall break down. Jesus said, “Come… apart… and rest a while” (Mark 6:31 KJV) because people who don’t “come… apart” end up coming apart!
(3) Exercise and get enough sleep. Walk, swim, and breathe deeply. It’s good for you! Dr. Arch Hart says, “Adrenal arousal reduces our need for sleep – but this is a trap; we ultimately pay the penalty. Most adults need 8-9 hours a night.”
(4) Learn to relax. The relaxation response is the reverse of the fight-or-flight response. The Bible says, “A faithful ambassador is health” (Proverbs 13:17 KJV), and as little as twenty minutes a day without the tyranny of “things present, [and] things to come” (Romans 8:38 KJV) can counteract the damaging effect of stress.
Soul food: Exo 20:17; Ps 10; Jam 4:1-3
2025-06-21
Romans 4:22-24 NKJV
Picture a transfer of funds from one account to another. Banks do it every day. Now imagine yourself destitute and unable to pay your debts. Then in an astounding act of grace, someone assumes all your debts and then transfers to your account such abundance that you never have to work or worry for the rest of your life. That’s what happened at the cross when God imputed to Jesus all your sins from the cradle to the grave and imputed all His righteousness to you.
Mind-blowing, isn’t it? Would you say, “No thanks, I believe in paying my own way”? Would you say, “I can’t allow you to do everything while I do nothing, so I’ll work for the rest of my life to prove myself worthy of your love and grace”? Salvation is like health food that’s labelled “no man-made additives.” Understand this: The righteousness required for getting into heaven is not about behaving the right way, but believing the right way.
You say, “But I feel such guilt when I sin.” You’re supposed to! Your new nature is reacting to sin just as your body does to food poisoning. Your boundaries have been violated and your regenerate spirit is saying that you can’t indulge in that anymore; it’s not who you are!
Why did God arrange the plan of salvation in this way? Because any righteousness we could achieve falls far short of His standards. He actually calls it “filthy rags.” Understand this: Your rewards in heaven are based upon your behaviour, but your getting into heaven is based on trusting in Christ alone.
Soul food: Jer 14-17; Mark 16:1-20; Ps 21; Prov 14:17-20
