2025-10-11
Ephesians 4:15 NIV
Virginia Satir, a founder of family systems therapy, determined that most families have five styles of communication.
(1) Some members are placaters. They go along to get along, and reduce stress by saying what others want to hear that makes them less upset.
(2) Others are blamers: finger-pointers, nitpickers, spinners of exquisite theories, eager to prove that they’re right and you’re wrong. And by accepting the blame, you vindicate and empower them.
(3) Satir describes other family members as super-reasonable. Their motto is, “Always agree with what other people say and conceal your real feelings.” It’s how they prevent getting hurt. They talk from their head and not their heart, redirecting the conversation toward things that are “safe.”
(4) Other family members opt for irrelevance, deflecting the conversation away from uncomfortable and potentially threatening topics. They talk only about what’s unrelated to whatever is going on.
(5) The final communication style is congruous or consistent. Congruous people tell it like it is. No disguising feelings, no double-talk, and no pretending. If they’re angry, they own their anger, they say they’re angry, and they may even look angry. They’re straight shooters. They have credibility; you can understand and believe them. No topics have to be dodged, and no questions avoided. Anything and everything can be discussed, and everyone’s opinion is respected.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Nothing astonishes men [and women] so much as common sense and plain dealing.” And it’s a scriptural, truth-based communication style that works.
Soul food: 2 Sam 20:1-22:30; John 4:1-12; Ps 100; Prov 23:22-28
2025-10-10
Hebrews 4:16 NLT
During World War II, Corrie ten Boom and her Dutch family hid many Jews from the Nazis. Eventually, she was caught and put in a concentration camp where she saw all sorts of atrocities, including the death of her father and sister. Then she was accidentally released. She never became bitter. She even forgave the man who killed her relatives.
Someone asked her how she could endure those dark days and remain loving, forgiving, and kind. She answered with a story of how, when she was a little girl, her father would take her on train rides all over Europe. He would always purchase her ticket several weeks ahead of time, but he would never let her have it until they were boarding. That’s because she was a little girl, and he didn’t want her to lose it or leave it at home. But whenever her father saw the headlights of the train approaching the station, he would give her the ticket, and they would step on board together.
Corrie said, “The reason you can’t fathom how I could forgive the person who killed my family, how I could not be filled with bitterness… is because just like my father and our train tickets, God doesn’t give us the grace we need until we’re about to step on board. But if you ever go through something like I went through, I can assure you God’s grace will be there to help you make it through the dark valleys and still keep your head held high and your heart filled with love.”
Soul food: 2 Sam 17:14-19:43; John 3:22-36; Ps 89:38-52; Prov 23:19-21
2025-10-09
Colossians 2:10 NKJV
One Christian author writes: “What if everywhere you went, you ran into someone you didn’t like? You attend a party and have to endure her conversation and constant opinions. You go to church, and she’s sitting right beside you… she is at the dinner table… she’s everywhere! That sounds pretty awful, but this is the exact situation you’re in if you don’t like yourself, because you are everywhere you go. You can’t get away from yourself, even for a second, so you’re in for a sad life if you dread your own company.
Even though… it makes no sense to live… this way… most people don’t like themselves. They may not even realize it, but some genuine soul-searching reveals the sad fact that they have rejected themselves, and in some cases, even hate themselves… I’m amazed at how few are truly at peace with themselves. Instead, they’ve declared war on themselves. God wants you to love yourself, not in some wrong selfish or prideful way, but in a healthy way that truly understands how special you are to Him. As you begin to see yourself as God sees you, not only will you love yourself, but you’ll have the confidence and faith to be a powerful force for good in the world.”
Somebody said just because nobody has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are doesn’t mean you shine any less. Just because nobody has been smart enough to figure out that you can’t be topped doesn’t stop you from being the best. Just because nobody has come along to share your life doesn’t mean that day isn’t coming… Keep shining, keep running, keep hoping, keep praying… keep being exactly who you are.
Soul food: 2 Sam 14:21-17:13; John 3:1-21; Ps 89:15-37; Prov 23:15-18
2025-10-08
Ephesians 2:10 NIV
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Most of us could come up with a long list! The fact is, Jesus alone holds the world record when it comes to perfection. In the words of Jennifer Dukes Lee: “Until you are convinced of God’s incredible love… you will continue looking for replacement love everywhere but in the heart of Christ. No matter where you live or work… the enemy prowls like a lion, stalking people on Wall Street, fashion runways, suburban cul-de-sacs, [and] Facebook walls… [We’re] in a showdown with Satan, who will use every opportunity… to whisper in our ears, ‘What are people thinking of you?’ [He] will tell you you’re too fat, too frumpy, too stupid, too poor. He will do whatever he can to set your affections on the things of this world, instead of on Christ. And he’ll wrap those accusations in glossy magazine covers if he has to.”
Don’t buy into his lies. Jesus said, “There is not an iota of truth in him… he is the father of liars” (John 8:44 TLB).
One Christian author summarizes it like this: “Discontentment is one of the big giants we must conquer if we ever hope to enjoy life… We may not have all we would like to have, but we certainly have more than some people. No matter how you think you look, there is somebody who would love to look like you. No matter how old you are, there is someone who would love to be as young as you… Love yourself and love your life; it is the only one you have!”
The truth is that you’re the only you God made… after that, He broke the mold!
Soul food: 2 Sam 12:1-14:20; John 2:12-25; Ps 89:1-14; Prov 23:10-14
2025-10-07
Psalm 55:17 KJV
An ancient European monastery perched on a high ledge was accessible only by way of a basket that was held in place by a single rope on a series of pulleys. One day a concerned visitor noticed the rope was frayed in numerous places. Hoping to relieve his anxiety, he asked the monk who was sharing the ride with him, “How often do you guys change the rope?” Stoically the cleric replied, “Whenever it breaks!” Seriously, waiting for the worst to happen before taking action is a risky life strategy.
Just as common sense dictates that machinery, health, and relationships require continual attention and maintenance, the same strategy applies to your spiritual life. Because we become what we consistently practice in our walk with God, routine and repetition can be spiritual lifesavers. Spiritual excellence isn’t an act; it’s a habit! Consider prayer and meditation: Rather than exceptions, they’re intended to be habits you practice daily. Don’t wait until the rope snaps before incorporating them into your life! Prayer must first be a spiritual discipline. God’s Word designates it as a life habit and not merely an act.
Paul instructs us to “pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion… be persistent in your prayers” (Ephesians 6:18 NLT). “Never stop praying” (1 Thessalonians 5:17 NLT). The psalmist David understood this principle. He said, “Evening… morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud.” And Daniel practiced it too: “He prayed three times a day, just as he had always done” (Daniel 6:10 NLT). It was a routine that proved powerful and effective for both men – and it’s one that will work for you too!
Soul food: 2 Sam 7:18-11:27; John 2:1-11; Ps 110; Prov 23:6-9
2025-10-06
Psalm 90:12 NLT
A woman once had a dream in which an angel was giving her this message: “As a reward for your virtues, the sum of $1,440 will be deposited into your bank account every morning. This amount has only one condition. At the close of each business day, any balance that has not been used will be cancelled. It won’t carry over to the next day or accrue interest. Each morning, a new $1,440 will be credited to you.”
The dream was so vivid that when she woke up, she asked the Lord to explain what it meant. He led her to understand that she was receiving 1,440 minutes every morning – the entire number of minutes in a twenty-four-hour day. What she did with this deposit of time was important because 1,440 minutes per day were all she would ever receive! And you have a similar account. At the close of each day, you should be able to look back with joy and satisfaction and see that those golden minutes were invested wisely.
Someone has said, “Time is God’s gift to you, but what you do with your time is your gift to God.” And it’s true. The psalmist wrote: “Seventy years are given to us! Some even live to eighty. But even the best years are filled with pain and trouble; soon they disappear, and we fly away… Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom… And may the Lord our God show us his approval and make our efforts successful” (vv. 10, 12, 17 NLT).
Soul food: Lev 23:33-44; John 7:1-40; Zech 14:16-21; Heb 11:8-16
