Secrets of self-control (4)

2018-03-03
Philippians 4:13 NKJV

Start believing you can change. Your beliefs control your behavior. The way you think determines the way you feel. And when your feelings become strong enough, they determine the way you act. The person who says, “I can’t do it,” and the person who says, “I can do it,” are both right. Much of the time you set yourself up to be defeated by what you’re saying. Your words reinforce either your right or wrong belief system. Three times in First Peter, God reminds us to be clear minded and self-controlled. Why? Because a clear mind is essential to self-control. God gave us the power to change our habits when He gave us the power to choose our thoughts. Does Romans twelve verse two tell us to be transformed by working hard or by sheer willpower? No. What are we transformed by? The renewing of the mind. When your self-control is being tested, you need to fill your mind with the promises of God. Here’s one: “When you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it” (1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV). You must believe God when He says there’s “a way out” for you. Paul writes, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That means you can change, and you can be different. Stop setting yourself up for failure by constantly criticizing yourself: “I’m no good. I simply have no control over my life.” Nagging doesn’t work – on yourself or on anyone else! Instead say, “Everything is possible for him who believes” (Mark 9:23 NIV). “And I believe.”

Soul food: 1 Kings 21-22; Matt 20:1-16; Ps 66:13-20; Prov 6:23-25

Secrets of self-control (2)

2018-03-01
Romans 14:4 NLT

Put your past behind you. “[This] one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining forward toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal” (Philippians 3:13 NIV). This Scripture exposes a misconception that will keep you from gaining self-control: Once a failure, always a failure! You may say, “Oh, I tried to quit my bad habit. In fact, I have tried over and over. I guess I’ll never be able to get control of this.” That is a misconception. Paul says, “We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going” (2 Corinthians 4:9 TLB). Have you watched a baby learning to walk? They fall down a lot, but they don’t stay down. They keep on trying, and ultimately they succeed. How far do you think they’d get if they just gave up and said, “Some people were meant to be walkers, and some were not”? Failure in the past does not mean that you will never be able to change. But focusing on past failures, however, does guarantee their repetition. It is like driving a car while looking in the rear-view mirror. You’re going to collide with what’s ahead of you. You have to put your past behind you. No one had more failures than Thomas Edison. Most of us would have given up, but not him. He once said, “Don’t call it a failure, call it an education! Now I know what doesn’t work!” When you realize sin doesn’t work, it’s a defining moment and your springboard to victory. A winner is simply someone who gets back up one more time than they fall down. So the word for you today is: “With the Lord’s help, [you] will stand.”

Soul food: 1 Kings 16:1-18:15; Matt 19:1-14; Ps 61; Prov 6:16-19

Secrets of self-control (1)

2018-02-28
James 1:14 NKJV

For the next few days let’s look at how to develop self-control. Here’s the first step: Accept responsibility for your lack of self-control. Admit your problem. “A man’s temptation is due to the pull of his own inward desires, which greatly attract him.” The main reason you do things – is because you like to! When you know something’s bad for you but you still do it, it’s because you want to. Sometimes we try to ignore the problem of self-control or deny it: “What problem? I don’t have a problem,” or “It’s just the way I am,” or “Everybody else is doing it.” Sometimes we blame others: “If I just had different parents,” or “The Devil made me do it.” As long as you waste your energy making excuses, you can’t make progress. James points out that we like to take the path of least resistance, and giving in to temptation is usually the easiest course. The starting point for developing self-control is to face what God has already said in His Word: “Everyone who sins is a slave to sin” (John 8:34 NIV). Do you want more self-control? Then admit you have a problem, and be specific about it: “I have this problem. This is where I need help.” You may have a problem with food, drink, drugs, words, your temper, money, exercise, sex, TV, clothes, time – all these areas need self-control. So today get down on your knees and talk to God about the problem, believing that with His help you’ll be able to solve it.

Soul food: 1 Kings 14-15; Matt 18:21-35; Ps 58; Prov 6:12-15

Rules of engagement

2018-02-27
Proverbs 15:1 TM

Even in the best of marriages arguments will arise from time to time. With two people of differing temperaments, tastes, and ways of thinking, how could it be otherwise? So here are a few rules of engagement: (1) Think before you speak. Ask yourself if fear, stress, or worry may have provoked your mate’s response. Is it bothering you right now because you are feeling insecure and unappreciated? Could you be misreading or exaggerating the problem? Take time to try and identify what’s really happening. (2) Ask for what you need. It’s okay to admit that some days you are needier than others. Dr. Gary Oliver says: “When a woman feels panicked every time her husband comes home late because her previous husband had an affair…it’s okay to say, ‘I know it’s irrational, but I’m having a panicky day.’ That kind of honesty strengthens a relationship.” (3) Never threaten. Threats just make your mate defensive and insecure. As a result, they can’t hear what you’re saying and nothing gets resolved. (4) Ditch the baggage from previous relationships. The Bible says, “Love…always looks for the best…never looks back” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 TM). It’s wrong to make your mate keep “proving” themselves over and over again. Don’t assume that old relationship problems are destined to keep repeating themselves. They won’t if you’re communicating and growing. (5) Say something nice to your mate every day. Any time you think something good about your spouse, stop and tell them. And when they reciprocate, respond graciously to what they’re saying. Remember, sharp words can create wounds, but “a gentle response defuses anger.”

Soul food: 1 Kings 12-13; Matt 18:10-20; Ps 53; Prov 6:9-11

Instead of worrying, pray

2018-02-26
Philippians 4:6 CEV

One Bible teacher writes: “The pressures of our times have many of us caught in a web of the most acceptable, yet energy-draining sin in the Christian family: worry. Chances are good you woke up this morning, stepped out of bed, and before doing anything, strapped on your well-worn backpack of anxiety. You started the day not with a prayer on your mind, but loaded down by worry. What a dreadful habit! Jesus challenged His followers with the question, ‘Who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?’ (Matthew 6:27 NAS). Worry solves nothing. It creates unrest and uneasiness, and if left unchecked it can churn our waves of anxiety into a perfect storm of emotions. Add a little imagination and creativity, and our worst fears come to life in Technicolor brilliance. The stress from worry drains our energy and preoccupies our minds, stripping us of our peace…We fret over big things and little things. Some of us have a laundry list of concerns that feed our addiction to worry. It’s a very unattractive addiction, yet we somehow manage to make a joke out of it. I’ve heard people say with a smile, ‘If I don’t have something to worry about, I get worried about not having something to worry about.’ Anxiety has become a favorite pastime we love to hate. And worse, we’re passing it on to our children. As they see the worry on our faces and hear it from our lips, we’re mentoring them in the art of anxiety.” So what’s the answer? “Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything.”

Soul food: 1 Kings 10-11; Matt 18:1-9; Ps 40:9-17; Prov 6:6-8