2020-11-05
Deuteronomium 4:9 NLV
In sy boek, Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right from Wrong, identifiseer William Kilpatrick nog twee mites oor kinders grootmaak waarvoor ouers val: 1) Die mite dat alle morele probleme sielkundig van aard is. Gedragsprobleme word deur hierdie uitkyk as kwessies gesien wat met selfbeeld of sielkundige behoeftes te make het. Die outydse idee dat gedragsprobleme by kinders die resultaat van hardkoppigheid kan wees, kom nie by die gemiddelde kundige op nie. As jy na die indeks van die tipiese boek oor ouerskap kyk, sal jy sien dat baie bladsye aan selfbeeld toegewy word, maar jy sal nie sommer die woord ‘karakter’ daar vind nie.
2) Die mite dat ouers nie die reg het om waardes by hulle kinders in te boesem nie. Weer eens, is die standaard dogma dat kinders hulle eie waardes moet skep. Kinders het egter baie min kans om dit te doen, omdat die res van die samelewing nie huiwer om hulle waardes op hulle af te dwing nie. Maak dit dus sin vir ouers om neutrale omstanders te wees terwyl almal anders, van draaiboekskrywers tot kunstenaars, adverteerders en seksvoorligters, daarop aandring om hulle waardes aan ons kinders te verkoop?
God het vir sy volk die volgende gesê: ‘Maar pas op! Wees baie versigtig om nooit te vergeet wat julle gesien het wat die Here vir julle gedoen het nie. Solank as wat julle leef, moet julle hierdie dinge onthou. Maak seker dat julle dit vir julle kinders en kleinkinders oorvertel.’
Ouer, wanneer dit daarby kom om geestelike waardes by jou kinders in te boesem, moet jy jouself die volgende afvra: Indien nie jy nie, wie dan? Indien nie nou nie, wanneer dan?
Sielskos: 1 Joh 3:11-5:21; Joh 8:31-41; Ps 30; Spr 25:13-17
Deuteronomy 4:9 NIV
In his book Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right from Wrong, William Kilpatrick identifies two more child-rearing myths that parents mistakenly fall for: (1) The myth that all moral problems are psychological in nature. In this view, behavioral problems are seen as issues related to self-esteem or unmet psychological needs. The old-fashioned idea that behavioral problems can be the result of “willfulness” on the part of children doesn’t seem to occur to the average child-raising expert. If you look in the index of a typical child-rearing book you will find a great many pages devoted to “self-esteem,” but you’re not likely to find the word “character” very often.
(2) The myth that parents don’t have a right to instill their values in their children. Once again, the standard dogma is that children must create their own values. But children have precious little chance to do that, since the rest of the culture has no qualms about imposing its values on them. Does it make sense for parents to remain neutral bystanders when everyone else from scriptwriters to entertainers, and advertisers to sex educators, insist on selling their values to our children?
When it comes to child-raising, this is what God told His people: “Be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” Parent, when it comes to instilling spiritual values into your children, ask yourself this: If not you, then who? If not now, then when?
Soul food: 1 John 3:11-5:21; John 8:31-41; Ps 30; Prov 25:13-17
Deuteronomy 4:9 NIV
Yesterday, we thought about why we should teach others about God. Today, let’s look at how we can be good teachers. Teaching is a gift of the Holy Spirit (take a look at Romans 12:6-7), and not all of us will naturally have it. So one thing we can do is ask God to give us that gift. We often think that teaching God’s Word involves reading a Bible verse and then unpicking it and explaining what it means. While that’s an important part, there are other ways to teach people.
1 Thessalonians 5:14 says: ‘Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone’ (NLT). Teaching others can simply involve encouraging them when they’re struggling, helping them to understand when they’ve gone wrong, and generally setting a good example to them through our own words and behaviour.
Another important thing to bear in mind is that it’s okay to not have all the answers. If someone asks us a question that we don’t know the answer to, we need to be honest and not try to talk our way out of it. It’s fine to say something like, ‘I don’t know; let’s see if we can find an answer together.’ By acknowledging that we don’t know everything, we give others the space and confidence to ask questions too.
It’s also great to share our enthusiasm and love for God’s Word. John Wesley said, ‘When your heart is on fire, people love to watch it burn.’ Maybe you’re not a confident speaker or the best teacher, but if your heart is full of passion for God, people will listen to what you have to say and respond to your authenticity.
1 John 3:11-5:21; John 8:31-41; Ps 30; Prov 25:13-17
2020-11-04
Deuteronomy 31:13 NIV
In his book, Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right from Wrong, author William Kilpatrick identifies some child-rearing myths that parents buy into: (1) The myth of the “good bad boy.” American literature and films often portray “bad boys” as charming and attractive. Tom Sawyer and Buster Brown are examples from the past; various other lovable brats featured in film and on television are contemporary examples. This strand in the American tradition has such a powerful hold on the imagination that the word “obedience” is very nearly a dirty word.
(2) The myth of natural goodness. This is the idea that virtue will take care of itself if children are just allowed to grow in their own way.
(3) The myth of expert knowledge. In recent decades, parents have deferred to professional authority in the matter of raising children. Unfortunately, the vast majority of child-rearing “experts” subscribe to the myth of natural goodness. So much emphasis has been placed on the unique, creative, and spontaneous nature of children, that parents have come to feel child-rearing means adjusting themselves to their children, rather than having children learn to adjust to the requirements of family life.
Let’s take a moment and observe what God said to the children of Israel about child-rearing: “Their children, who do not know this law, must hear it and learn to fear (reverence and respect) the Lord your God as long as you live.” Note the phrase “must hear it and learn.” That’s not a suggestion for parents – it’s a commandment God has called you to obey if you want your family to be blessed.
Soul food: 1 John 1:1-3:10; John 8:21-30; Ps 86; Prov 25:8-12
