2021-04-13
2 Peter 3:18 NLT
How do we overcome past hurts in relationships? How can we combine separate and unique perspectives to create a friendship or relationship that’s compassionate and caring?
There’s a very special ingredient called ‘grace’ that must be added to the mix. It calls for extending to the other person the same grace that God extends to us. It bandages broken people and allows the defeated to develop ways to break free from their pasts. It gives strength to those who struggle. Grace restores the heart and resolves the troubles of a tormented spirit. It is loving-kindness and forgiveness. It’s the favour of God. And as He bestows it on us, we should extend it to those who need our compassion and love. We are all broken in certain areas, and we need to learn to accept that and help mend the brokenness in others.
Peter didn’t believe he was capable of denying his Lord. He swore he would never do it. But Jesus not only predicted it, He promised to pray for him until he was fully restored (take a look at Luke 22:32). And we’re called to do that too; to extend to other imperfect people the same love and grace that has been shown to us.
Paul wrote to the Thessalonians: ‘We must always thank God for you, brothers and sisters. This is only right, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love that every one of you has for each other is increasing’ (2 Thessalonians 1:3 NKJV). Peter also said, ‘You must grow in…grace.’ It’s a process, so it won’t always be easy, but with God, we can work on it day by day.
Lev 23:26-25:55; Mark 1:35-39; Ps 50:16-23; Prov 10:4-7
2021-04-12
Acts 2:39 NCV
The idea of family is a complicated one. Some families are exactly what they’re supposed to be, reflecting what God intended for our relationships here on earth. Other families are the opposite, they’re not always easy to be a part of.
But the structure of having dependable people around us, relationships with equal amounts of give and take, is a God-given one. Whether we find that in our blood relatives, or in a chosen family made up of friends, we need a small, close selection of others around us to count on. That’s why diving into our church family is so important. Whatever our home situation looks like, we can depend on our church to be our family. Psalm 133:1 reads: ‘How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!’ (NIV).
Obviously, like any family, our churches aren’t always full of unity but they should always be full of love. They give us a place to build something that matters, and to pass on our own unique gifts and knowledge. Psalm 145:4 reminds us to ‘let each generation tell its children of [God’s] mighty acts; let them proclaim [His] power’ (NLT).
As well as providing us with a support system of people who care for us, our churches give us a chance to fulfil that instruction. We have somewhere that we can take the promises that God has given to us and pass them on. The promise that Peter’s referring to in today’s title verse is the promise of us receiving the Holy Spirit. That is the most important gift that we could ever share with those around us.
Lev 21:1-23:25; Mark 1:29-34;
Ps 50:1-15; Prov 10:3
2021-02-24
Proverbs 24:6 NLT
Solomon wrote, ‘The wise are mightier than the strong and those with knowledge grow stronger and stronger. So don’t go to war without wise guidance; victory depends on having many advisers’ (Proverbs 24:5-6 NLT). You might not personally be responsible for sending armies into war, but chances are that we all have something going on that we have to have a ‘battle plan’ for. These verses are our reminder that we shouldn’t try to take anything on alone. God has built us to work together.
Think about 1 Corinthians, where Paul explains how we all have different strengths and gifts, how we all fit together to make something wonderful, like parts of the human body fitting together to make the whole. He finishes his analogy by saying, ‘you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.’ (1 Corinthians 12:27 NIV). No single one of us has every skill that we need to accomplish the tasks in front of us. We are each a part, not the whole body. It’s natural and right that we need to look to other people for ideas and input to be truly successful. But we need to make sure that we listen properly when others present their ideas to us.
Romans 12:16 tells us to ‘live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!’ (NLT). It can be so damaging to our relationships with others if we dismiss their ideas or input without showing consideration. On the other hand, when we show respect for someone’s ideas, it can be the start of an equal, productive, collaborative relationship.
Gen 20-23; Matt 18:1-9; Ps 53; Prov 6:9-11
2020-12-18
James 1:19 NIV
Good listening helps us to build relationships, but becoming a good listener requires some effort on our part. Here are a few suggestions to help us improve our listening:
1) Listen without interrupting. We need to resist the temptation to jump in and finish a sentence, or to turn the conversation around to make it about ourselves and our feelings and experiences.
2) Listen to understand. As someone is speaking, we should try to understand their point of view, feelings, needs, and way of thinking. Good listening is hearing what they actually think, mean or feel, not what we imagine they do. If we’re not sure that we’re understanding correctly, rather than guessing, we should ask, ‘Do you mean…? Are you feeling…?’ We mustn’t assume things, and we shouldn’t be afraid of asking someone to clarify or repeat what they’ve said to us.
3) Listen without judging. We need to avoid jumping to conclusions. If someone says something that doesn’t quite add up, we need to keep listening. Proverbs 18:13 says: ‘To answer before listening – that is folly and shame’ (Proverbs 18:13 NKJV). When we hear more details, it might make sense.
4) Listen without correcting, arguing or devaluing. Jumping in and saying things like, ‘That’s not what happened,’ or, ‘If you hadn’t…’ or, ‘You’re just being too sensitive,’ can put people on their guard and stop real communication.
5) Validate the speaker. We should make an effort to accept their perceptions and feelings as the valid expressions of a valued person. They may have misunderstood a situation, but that doesn’t mean they’re wrong to feel the way they do. If we try to understand their perspective, we’ll gain insight into why they feel that way.
Micah 1-4; John 20:19-31; Ps 67; Prov 30:29-33
2020-12-10
Luke 6:31 MSG
Imagine you’d gone to a top-rated, 5-star restaurant as a special treat, and ordered their most expensive steak. You’re really looking forward to your meal, but when it’s brought to you, there’s the tiniest piece of steak on the plate, just enough for one bite. So you complain, but the server explains that although it’s a small portion, it’s the best steak available anywhere in the world – it’s the quality, not the quantity, that matters. You probably wouldn’t be happy about that.
Sometimes, quality is more important than quantity, but there are some areas of our lives where both are equally important. One of those areas is in our relationships with others. We might think that it doesn’t matter how much time we give to our friends and loved ones as long as it’s quality time. But we can’t grow a friendship if we’re not prepared to invest time and effort into it. The Message paraphrases Luke 6:31 like this: ‘Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them!’ (MSG).
We need to think about how we would like our friends to treat us. Would we feel happy and valued if they chose to spend only a small amount of time with us once in a while? Our time is valuable to us, so when we choose to spend it with a friend or loved one, we’re showing how much we value them. If we’re only willing to give them a few minutes, what sort of message are we sending them? They might think their friendship isn’t all that important to us.
When it comes to building relationships, let’s make the decision to choose both quality and quantity, and show our friends and loved ones how much they mean to us.
Jos 22-24; John 18:12-24; Ps 150; Prov 29:22-27
