2026-08-09
Proverbs 12:22 NKJV
Rosalie Elliot made it to the fourth round of a national spelling contest in Washington, DC. The eleven-year-old from South Carolina was asked to spell the word avowal. In her soft southern accent, she spelled the word, but the judges were unable to determine if she had used an a or an e as the next-to-last letter. They debated among themselves for several minutes as they listened to the recording, but it was too accent-blurred to decipher. Finally, the chief judge put the question to the only person who knew the answer. “Was the letter an a, or was it an e?” he asked Rosalie.
By this time, being surrounded by whispering young spellers, Rosalie knew the correct spelling of the word. Still, without hesitation, she replied that she had misspelled the word, and she walked from the stage. The entire audience stood and applauded, including some fifty newspaper reporters. The moment was a proud one for her parents. Even in defeat, she was a victor. Indeed, more has been written about Rosalie Elliot over the years than about the “unknown” winner of the event.
As a redeemed child of God, your heavenly Father requires honesty in word and deed. “The truthful lip shall be established forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment” (Proverbs 12:19 NKJV). “Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds” (Colossians 3:9 NKJV). “Therefore, put away lying, ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbour,’ for we are members of one another” (Ephesians 4:25 NKJV).
Soul food: Gen 22:14; Ps 37:25; John 3:16-17
2026-08-08
Spreuke 19:11 NLV
Woede maak baie van ons bang, omdat ons al daardeur skade gely het. Woede kan egter ‘n bewys wees dat ‘n persoon vir iemand of iets omgee. Wanneer julle woede afskakel, elimineer dit julle passie, intimiteit en liefde. Hier is twee maniere om woede vir jou te laat werk:
1) Rig jou woede op die regte teiken. Jou eggenoot is nie die vyand nie; Satan is. Hy kom ‘…om te steel, dood te maak en te vernietig’ (Johannes 10:10 NLV). Hy is die een wat probeer om ‘n wig tussen julle in te dryf. Verskuif bewustelik jou fokus van jou eggenoot na die probleem toe. Word byvoorbeeld kwaad vir jou gebrek aan finansies, nie vir jou eggenoot se besteding nie. Word kwaad vir eise wat julle in verskillende rigtings trek, nie vir jou eggenoot wat laat by die werk bly nie. Word kwaad vir die beperkings op intimiteit, nie vir jou eggenoot wat nee vir seks sê nie. Plaas die probleem apart van jou en jou eggenoot. Sien julleself as ‘n span wat die probleem saam beveg. Val die probleem aan, nie mekaar nie.
2) Identifiseer die oorsprong. Vind die pyn wat die woede veroorsaak. Soek daarna in jou en jou eggenoot se harte. Watter behoefte word nie vervul nie? Watter wond is blootgelê? Watter skaamte of vrees word opgewek? Wanneer jy die pyn identifiseer, sal jy myle nader aan die oplossing wees. Wees egter versigtig! Deur kwesbaar te wees, kan julle mekaar soms seermaak; erken dit en vergewe mekaar vinnig wanneer dit gebeur. Om by mekaar betrokke te bly wanneer julle kwesbaar is, sal die vlak van julle intimiteit soos niks anders kan nie, verhoog.
Omarm dus woede as God se geskenk en leer hoe om dit vir jou te laat werk.
Sielskos: 1 Kro 26:20-29:30; Mark 4:26-41; Ps 119:25-32; Spr 20:25-27
Proverbs 19:11 NLT
Anger scares many of us because we’ve been harmed by it. But anger can be evidence that a person cares about someone or something. Nothing wrong is ever made right without someone becoming angry about it. If you shut down all anger, you eliminate passion, intimacy, and love. Here are two ways to make anger work for you:
(1) Direct your anger at the right target. Your spouse is not the enemy; Satan is. He comes to “steal, and to kill, and to destroy” (John 10:10 KJV). He’s the one trying to drive a wedge between you. Consciously move your focus from your spouse to the problem. For example, get angry at your lack of finances, not your spouse’s spending. Get angry at demands pulling you in different directions, not your spouse staying late at work. Get angry at the limitations on intimacy, not your spouse saying no to sex. Put the problem “out there,” separate from you and your spouse. See yourselves as fighting the problem together. Attack the problem, not each other.
(2) Look for the pain. Find the pain that triggered the anger; it’s almost always there. Look for it in your spouse and in your own heart. What need isn’t being met? What wound has been exposed? What shame or fear is aroused? When you identify the pain, you’ll be miles closer to the solution. But beware! By being vulnerable, you may end up wounding each other sometimes; acknowledge it and forgive quickly. Staying engaged while risking vulnerability will increase intimacy more than anything else.
So, embrace anger as God’s gift, and learn how to make it work for you.
Soul food: 1 Chr 26:20-29:30; Mark 4:26-41; Ps 119:25-32; Pro 20:25-27
2026-08-07
Jakobus 1:19 NLV
Jy kan woede gebruik om die band en intimiteit tussen jou en jou eggenoot te verdiep. ‘n Mens doen dit as volg:
1) Erken die woede. ‘n Persoon wat deur woede beheer word, is nie veilig, gesond of wys nie. ‘Iemand wat homself nie in bedwang kan hou nie, is soos ‘n stad sonder ‘n muur wat beskerming bied’ (Spreuke 25:28 NLV). As jy en jou eggenoot kan leer om woede te beheer, in plaas daarvan om deur dit beheer te word, kan dit van onskatbare waarde wees. Vind ‘n manier om julle gevoelens te erken. As jy sukkel om jou woede te beheer, neem eers ‘n tree terug en word kalm. Kom dan terug en hanteer die probleem.
2) Moenie weghardloop nie. As jy werklik in gevaar is, moet jy na veiligheid vlug. As jy egter nie in gevaar is nie, sal jy julle beide se gevoelens bevestig deur te bly en die probleem met jou eggenoot te bespreek. Dis die enigste manier om ‘n oplossing te kry. Besluit om julle kwessies te hanteer wanneer julle kwaad raak.
Julle moet dalk ‘n tyd afspreek om dit te doen as julle nie dadelik kan nie, maar moenie te lank wag nie. Probeer ten minste om die probleem aan te spreek voor julle daardie aand gaan slaap. Julle mag dalk nie ‘n oplossing vir die hele probleem vind nie, maar kom ooreen om die situasie te ontlont voor die dag verby is. ‘…Moenie tot die aand toe kwaad bly, en die duiwel so ‘n houvas gee nie’ (Efesiërs 4:26-27 NLV). Indien nodig, maak ‘n tyd vas om die probleem aan te spreek. Julle verdien dit albei, en julle huwelik is dit werd.
Sielskos: 1 Kro 23:21-26:19; Mark 4:13-25; Ps 119:17-24; Spr 20:22-24
James 1:19 NLT
You can use anger to actually deepen the bond and intimacy between you and your spouse. Here’s how:
(1) Acknowledge the place of anger. A person ruled by anger is not safe, healthy, or wise. “Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls” (Proverbs 25:28 NKJV). But if you and your spouse can learn to rule anger instead of letting it rule you, it can be invaluable. Think of the emotion as a flare sent up by your brain telling you there’s something you need to deal with. Find your own way to acknowledge your feelings. If you struggle to control your anger, take a walk and let the temperature decrease. Then come back, re-engage, and deal with the issue.
(2) Don’t run away. If you’re truly in danger, you need to get somewhere safe. But if not, staying engaged with your spouse validates the feelings of both of you. It’s the only way to get a solution. If either of you is angry, agree to deal with it.
You may need to plan a time to do so, but don’t wait long. If nothing else, determine to deal with it before going to sleep that night. You may not find a solution to the whole problem, but make a pact to defuse the situation before the day ends. “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT). If necessary, schedule a time to address the issue. You both deserve it, and your marriage is worth it.
Soul food: 1 Chr 23:21-26:19; Mark 4:13-25; Ps 119:17-24; Pro 20:22-24
