Learning to confront (2)

Healthy confrontation calls for putting the other person’s well-being above our own interests. Here are three things that can help us confront others in the right way: 1) Be sure. There must be a good reason to confront. And confrontation should be a rare event, not an everyday one. We shouldn’t get pleasure out of the experience. If we do, we seriously need to examine our own motives. Before confronting someone, we must answer these questions truthfully: Am I feeling superior? Am I redirecting my anger towards this person over a completely different issue? Am I putting this person down in order to feel good about myself?

2) Be specific. No matter how tactful and gracious our words might be, if we’re vague about the reason for the confrontation, we’ll never get anywhere in helping the other person to improve. We need to be sure of the reason for the confrontation, and then make it clear to the other person.

3) Be sensitive. Every situation is different, so a season of prayer should always happen before any face-to-face encounter. Otherwise, we’re setting ourselves up for problems, and the other person will sense uncertainty and uneasiness in our words. Don’t run that risk. If we haven’t taken the time to pray and get God involved, we absolutely mustn’t jump into the situation on our own. Without God’s input, we’ll leave a trail of confusion, resentment, and wounded souls.

Another important bit of advice is to make sure our words and tone of voice are adapted to the person we’re talking to. So in short, if you need to confront someone, pay close attention to timing, choose your words carefully, and most importantly, pray for guidance.

Isa 9:1-7; Luke 2:1-7; Matt 4:12-16