2022-02-13
Hebrews 12:11 ESV
Healthy confrontation calls for putting the other person’s well-being above your own interests. So how do you confront someone in the right way? By doing these three things:
(1) Be sure. There must be a good reason to confront. And it should be a rare event, not an everyday one. You shouldn’t relish the experience. If you do, you need to examine your motives. Are you feeling superior? Are you redirecting your anger toward this person over a completely different issue? Are you lifting yourself up by putting them down? Before confronting someone, you must answer these questions truthfully.
(2) Be specific. Vagueness leads to an uncertain outcome, no matter how tactful and gracious your words may be. Make sure you know the reason for the confrontation; then make it clear to the other person.
(3) Be sensitive. Every situation is different, so a season of soul-searching and prayer should precede any face-to-face encounter. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for problems, and the other person will sense uncertainty and uneasiness in your words. Don’t run that risk. If you haven’t taken the time to pray and get counsel beforehand, don’t jump into the situation on your own. We have all seen this type of Clint Eastwood “Go ahead, make my day” approach. Without fail, it leaves confusion, resentment, and a trail of wounded souls. Make sure your words and tone of voice are attuned to the person you’re dealing with. And try to keep your personal agenda in check; none of this is about you! Pay close attention to timing, choose your words carefully, and, for sure, pray for guidance. Remember, Christlike confrontation brings the right result every time.
Soul food: Isa 9:1-7; Luke 2:1-7; Matt 4:12-16
Hebrews 12:11 ESV
Healthy confrontation calls for putting the other person’s well-being above our own interests. Here are three things that can help us confront others in the right way: 1) Be sure. There must be a good reason to confront. And confrontation should be a rare event, not an everyday one. We shouldn’t get pleasure out of the experience. If we do, we seriously need to examine our own motives. Before confronting someone, we must answer these questions truthfully: Am I feeling superior? Am I redirecting my anger towards this person over a completely different issue? Am I putting this person down in order to feel good about myself?
2) Be specific. No matter how tactful and gracious our words might be, if we’re vague about the reason for the confrontation, we’ll never get anywhere in helping the other person to improve. We need to be sure of the reason for the confrontation, and then make it clear to the other person.
3) Be sensitive. Every situation is different, so a season of prayer should always happen before any face-to-face encounter. Otherwise, we’re setting ourselves up for problems, and the other person will sense uncertainty and uneasiness in our words. Don’t run that risk. If we haven’t taken the time to pray and get God involved, we absolutely mustn’t jump into the situation on our own. Without God’s input, we’ll leave a trail of confusion, resentment, and wounded souls.
Another important bit of advice is to make sure our words and tone of voice are adapted to the person we’re talking to. So in short, if you need to confront someone, pay close attention to timing, choose your words carefully, and most importantly, pray for guidance.
Isa 9:1-7; Luke 2:1-7; Matt 4:12-16
Hebreërs 12:11 DB
Gesonde konfrontasie verg dat jy die ander persoon se welstand bo jou eie belange plaas. Hoe konfronteer mens dus iemand op die regte manier? Deur hierdie drie dinge te doen: 1) Wees seker. Daar moet ‘n goeie rede wees om te konfronteer. Dit moet ook ‘n rare gebeurtenis wees, nie ‘n alledaagse een nie. Jy moet nie die ervaring geniet nie. As jy dit doen, moet jy jou beweegredes ondersoek. Voel jy meerderwaardig? Rig jy jou woede oor ‘n heeltemal ander kwessie in hierdie persoon se rigting? Hef jy jouself op terwyl jy hulle afkraak? Voor jy iemand konfronteer, moet jy eers hierdie vrae eerlik antwoord.
2) Wees spesifiek. Vaagheid lei tot ‘n onsekere uitkoms, maak nie saak hoe taktvol en genadig jou woorde mag wees nie. Maak seker dat jy die rede vir die konfrontasie verstaan; en maak dit dan duidelik aan die ander persoon.
3) Wees sensitief. Elke situasie is anders, dus moet ‘n seisoen van selfondersoek en gebed enige ontmoeting van aangesig tot aangesig, voorafgaan. Andersins mag jy dalk probleme ondervind en die ander persoon sal die onsekerheid en ongemak in jou woorde agterkom. Moenie daardie risiko neem nie. As jy nie die tyd geneem het om vooraf te bid en raad te kry nie, moenie alleen in die situasie inspring nie. Dit laat altyd verwarring, wrokkigheid en ‘n spoor van gewonde siele agter. Maak seker dat jou woorde en stemtoon in voeling met die persoon wat jy aanspreek, is.
Probeer ook jou persoonlike agenda in bedwang hou; dit gaan nie oor jou nie! Gee spesifiek aandag aan jou tydsberekening, kies jou woorde versigtig en bid natuurlik vir leiding. Onthou, Christusgesentreerde konfrontasie bring elke keer die regte resultate mee.
Sielskos: Jes 9:1-7; Luk 2:1-7; Matt 4:12-16
2022-02-12
Proverbs 13:18 NLT
We don’t enjoy confrontation, but it’s impossible to grow without it. Healthy confrontation calls for “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15 NIV) to those we value. Just as God confronts each of us in areas where we need to grow, He expects us to do the same for others. Is it easy? No. But here are some guiding principles to help you:
(1) Talk to the person, not about them. Healthy confrontation should be direct and, when possible, done in private. It calls for thoughtful communication, delivered firmly but graciously. When people are hurting, handle them with care.
(2) Don’t exaggerate or use spiritual hype. Give specific examples. Don’t hide behind words like “I believe the Lord has shown me that you’re wrong.” When Nathan the prophet confronted King David about his sin with Bathsheba, he was specific. And keep your emotions in check; allow enough time between the offense and the confrontation for a prayerful defusing of any anger you feel.
(3) Don’t guilt-trip them; help them. Don’t leave somebody in a stew without clear direction on how to improve. That’s not fair, and it’s not constructive. Actually, it can lead to more intense issues and unwanted complications. The best approach is to calmly identify the problem and suggest ways it can be resolved. Your goal isn’t to expose somebody but to show them a better way.
(4) Don’t be critical; be compassionate. If you miss everything else, don’t miss this! If you do, you will find yourself condemning rather than confronting. If you’re honest, you will admit that your own road to success has had some potholes – so approach others with love and concern.
Soul food: Isa 30-33; Luke 9:37-45; Ps 145:1-13; Pro 4:20-22
Proverbs 13:18 NLT
We don’t enjoy confrontation, but it’s impossible to grow without it. Healthy confrontation calls for ‘speaking the truth in love’ (Ephesians 4:15 NIV) to the people we value. Just as God confronts each of us in the areas where we need to grow, He expects us to do the same for others. It isn’t easy. But here’s some advice and guidance to help when we’re faced with confronting someone:
1) Talk to the person, not about them. Healthy confrontation should be direct and, whenever possible, done in private. It calls for thoughtful words that we deliver firmly but graciously. When people are hurting, we need to treat them with love and care.
2) Don’t exaggerate. Instead of generalising, we should give specific examples. When Nathan the prophet confronted King David about his sin with Bathsheba, he was specific. We also need to keep our own emotions in check. That might call for waiting until any anger we feel has faded (which might take a lot of prayer on our part!).
3) Don’t guilt-trip them; help them. We should leave the person we’ve confronted with a clear direction on how to improve. Leaving them confused, hurt, and criticised isn’t fair, isn’t constructive, and can lead to more intense issues and unwanted complications. The best approach is to calmly identify the problem and suggest ways it can be resolved. Our goal isn’t to expose somebody but to show them a better way.
4) Don’t be critical; be compassionate. If we’re over-critical, we’ll find ourselves condemning rather than confronting. In all honesty, every one of us is travelling on a bumpy road with lots of potential for mishaps, so we should approach others with love and concern.
Isa 30-33; Luke 9:37-45; Ps 145:1-13; Pro 4:20-22
