2021-02-27
Jesaja 30:15 NLV
Soos probleme in jou verhoudings opduik, sal jy geforseer word om ‘n vertaler, onderhandelaar, diplomaat en vredemaker te wees. Goeie kommunikasievaardighede is altyd noodsaaklik. Niks is meer frustrerend as om misverstaan, verkeerd gehoor, geïgnoreer of verkeerd opgevat te word nie.
Om daaroor te praat is egter nie altyd die antwoord nie. Soms bekragtig dit die probleem. Ons fout is dat ons dikwels te veel oor die kwessie praat, in plaas daarvan om stil te wees en op ‘n oplossing te fokus. God het vir jou die gawes gegee om die situasie te verander. Moenie net daaroor praat nie, doen dit!
As ons woorde verkeerd gebruik of uit ons beurt praat, kan dit ons van ‘n oplossing weglei wat ons andersins sou gesien het. Jakobus sê vir ons dat die dinge wat ons sê groot mag het, wat tot vernietiging kan lei: ‘So is die tong ook iets kleins, en tog kry dit groot dinge reg. ‘n Klein vuurtjie kan ‘n groot bos aan die brand steek’ (Jakobus 3:5 NLV). Net ons stemtoon kan die gesprek tot ‘n woedende vuur stook! Moenie die persoon wees uit wie se mond vlamme kon nie. Tem jou tong. Ons gesprekke moet met genade deurspek wees (sien Kolossense 4:6). Praat op ‘n positiewe manier, want God is steeds op die troon en Hy het ‘n plan. Dit verg dikwels stilte en versigtige besinning om toepaslik te reageer.
Soms is dit beter om net stil te bly. Wanneer jy angstig is, is die kans goed dat jy te veel sal praat. Wanneer jy kwaad is, sal jy die situasie vererger. Wanneer jy aggressief is, sal jy verloor, in plaas daarvan om te wen. Die Bybel sê: ‘…Deur stil te raak en te vertrou, sal julle sterk word…’ Dis ‘n skriftuurlike beginsel wat altyd werk.
Sielskos: Gen 28:1-30:24; Matt 19:1-14; Ps 66:1-12; Spr 6:20-22
2021-02-26
Philippians 2:4 NKJV
When it comes to the truth, you should be unbending. But when it comes to relationships, you must learn to be flexible. If you always need to be “right” and make the other person “wrong,” you’ll never enjoy stable, long-lasting relationships.
One author writes: “We will not last together because we were never wrong. We will last because when we were wrong, we found the invincible will to correct the wrong and the grace to endure whatever it took to survive it together. Our families are never perfect, but that doesn’t mean we cannot find a way to make it across the tumultuous seas onto the shores of love and life. Coming from backgrounds with different traditions and conflicting ideas, we bring baggage and unrealistic expectations to our relationships whether we are conscious of it or not.”
So what should you do? He continues: “Create in yourself an openness to change and an understanding that much correction will be needed for what you will face together. Make this attitude your charter for how you will operate as a couple. Always be willing to recalibrate your relationship to ensure that decisions made at one stage of life now fit the growth and maturity of the present.”
Do you know what the biggest problem in our relationships is? Selfishness! We want to have things our own way. But that’s not the scriptural way. The Bible says, “Let each of you look out not only for his [or her] own interests, but also for the interests of others.” When you live with that kind of mind-set, you’ll enjoy rich, rewarding relationships.
Soul food: Gen 25:19-27:46; Matt 18:21-35; Ps 61; Prov 6:16-19
Philippians 2:4 NCV
When it comes to our relationships with other people, we need to learn to be flexible. There are times when we need to stand firm, but if we find we always need to be ‘right’ and make the other person ‘wrong’, we’ll struggle to build stable, long-lasting friendships and relationships. One author writes: ‘We will not last together because we were never wrong. We will last because when we were wrong, we found the invincible will to correct the wrong and the grace to endure whatever it took to survive it together.’
Our relationships are made up of imperfect people with their own ideas and opinions, and with different backgrounds, experiences, and expectations – it’s inevitable that we’ll disagree from time to time, no matter how well we usually get on. The key is to accept that we won’t always agree, and then be willing to work together to find a solution, open to change, and prepared to meet others halfway.
Jesus demonstrated this attitude at the wedding at Cana. When the wine ran out, Mary wanted Jesus to do something about it. He replied: ‘My time has not yet come’ (John 2:4 NCV). It wasn’t the right time for Him to reveal to everyone what He could do, but rather than completely refusing to help, He carried out Mary’s request quietly and subtly.
The root of many problems in relationships is selfishness. We like to get our own way. But that’s not how the Bible encourages us to live. Philippians 2:4 says: ‘Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others’ (NCV). When we’re concerned for others as well as ourselves, we’ll find it easier to co-operate and find some middle ground when disagreements happen.
Gen 25:19-27:46; Matt 18:21-35; Ps 61; Prov 6:16-19
Filippense 2:4 NLV
Wanneer dit by die waarheid kom, moet jy onbuigsaam wees. Wanneer dit egter by verhoudings kom, moet jy leer om buigbaar te wees. As jy altyd ‘reg’ moet wees en die ander persoon ‘verkeerd’ moet bewys, sal jy nooit stabiele, langdurige verhoudings geniet nie.
Een skrywer merk op: ‘Die rede hoekom ons verhoudings hou is nie omdat ons nooit verkeerd is nie. Dit hou omdat wanneer ons verkeerd was, ons die wil vind om die verkeerde te korrigeer en die genade vind om dit wat nodig is om saam te oorleef, te verduur. Ons families is nie perfek nie, maar dit beteken nie dat ons nie ‘n weg kan vind om dit oor die onstuimige see tot by die strande van liefde en lewe te maak nie. Omdat ons uit agtergronde met verskillende tradisies en teenstrydige idees kom, bring ons bagasie en onrealistiese verwagtinge in ons verhouding in, of ons nou daarvan bewus is of nie.’
Wat staan jou dus te doen? Hy gaan voort: ‘Skep in jouself ‘n gewilligheid om te verander en verstaan dat daar baie korreksies gemaak sal word wat nodig is vir dit waarvoor julle te staan kom. Maak hierdie houding die bloudruk vir hoe julle as paartjie gaan funksioneer. Wees altyd gewillig om julle verhouding te herkalibreer om te verseker dat besluite wat op een stadium van die lewe gemaak is, nog steeds by die groei en volwassenheid van die hede pas.’
Weet jy wat die grootste probleem in ons verhoudings is? Selfsugtigheid! Ons wil dinge volgens ons manier hê. Dis egter nie die skriftuurlike manier nie. Die Bybel sê: ‘Julle moenie net elkeen na sy eie belange omsien nie, maar ook na mekaar se belange.’ Wanneer jy met hierdie lewensuitkyk lewe, sal jy ryk, lonende verhoudings geniet.
Sielskos: Gen 25:19-27:46; Matt 18:21-35; Ps 61; Spr 6:16-19
2021-02-25
Proverbs 20:5 NLT
The founder of IBM, Thomas J. Watson, said: “Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of ‘crackpot’ than the stigma of conformity…Every time we’ve moved ahead in IBM it was because someone was willing to take a chance, put his head on the block, and try something new.”
Many of us have good ideas that never go anywhere. At some point, you must reduce your list to the best idea for you. This isn’t easy, but it’s necessary. Start with obvious ideas that can’t work because of budgets, timing, or lack of resources. Next, pool ideas that may be good, but don’t solve your particular problem. Timing is everything, and some great ideas are just ahead of their time. So keep an “idea file” and pull some of them out again next year.
But here’s a flashing red light: When your circle of advisors help you generate good ideas yet never see you acting on them, they will lose interest and you will end up on your own. The Bible says, “Faith without works is dead” (James 2:26 KJV). So commit yourself to a life of creativity, original thinking, and action! If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got. The classic advertisement for Apple Computer says it best: “Think different!”
Don’t take yourself too seriously! If an idea doesn’t work, don’t fall apart. Tick it off your list and move on to the next one. At some point you may discover that your good idea – is actually a God idea. When that happens, it changes everything!
Soul food: Gen 24:1-25:18; Matt 18:10-20; Ps 58; Prov 6:12-15
