2018-10-11
Galasiërs 6:5 NLV
Sannie was ‘n bestuurder by ‘n klein bemarkingsbesigheid en wanneer probleme opgeduik het, het sy outomaties na ‘n sondebok gesoek. By verkoopsvergaderings het sy met haar kollegas geraas en hulle gekritiseer en haar tirades ‘motiveringspraatjies’ genoem. Haar kollegas het een vir een begin bedank, en toe die besigheid se verkope begin afneem, het Sannie dit op die stadige ekonomie, oneffektiewe personeel en slegte werksomgewing geblameer. Uiteindelik het haar baas genoeg gehad en haar afgedank. Dit het Sannie nooit opgeval dat sy dalk tot die probleem bygedra het nie. Wanneer jy ander blameer, ondermyn dit jou vermoë om verantwoordelikheid oor jou eie lewe te neem. ‘n Kundige skryf: ‘In plaas van om sterker te word, word jy swakker. Mense dink as hulle erken dat hulle deel van die probleem is, het hulle op ‘n manier gefaal. Die teenoorgestelde is egter waar. Dit neem krag om te erken dat almal betrokke ‘n deel daarin gehad het. Nog ‘n newe-effek van blaam is self-regverdiging. In jou gedagtes word jy onaantasbaar, anders en beter as ander mense. Jy dink dat jy die sterk een is en dat ander mense foute het. Niks kan verder van die waarheid af wees nie. Die Bybel sê, ‘…Hooghartigheid kom net voor die val’ (Spreuke 16:18 NLV). Wanneer jy ander mense blameer, verloor jy die vermoë om te sien wat werklik aan die gang is. Jy is dan geskok wanneer jy ‘n verhouding of werk verloor, omdat jy dit glad nie sien kom het nie. Wanneer jy ophou om ander te blameer, ontwikkel jy deernis. Jy besef dat foute natuurlik en onvermydelik is – en dat hulle net foute is. Hulle kan gekorrigeer word. Dit beteken nie dat daar iets fout is met jou of ander mense nie.’ Neem dus verantwoordelikheid vir jou eie lewe.
Sielskos: Eks 13-15; Joh 1:43-51; Ps 131; Spr 26:7-9
Galatians 6:5 TM
Sally managed a small marketing company, and when problems arose she automatically looked for a scapegoat. At sales meetings she berated and criticized her co-workers, choosing to call her tirades “pep talks.” Her associates began to resign in droves, and when company revenues declined Sally blamed it on the slow economy, inefficient staff, and bad working conditions. Finally her boss had enough and fired her. Blame-shifting was how Sally survived. It never occurred to her that she may have contributed to the problem, in even a small way. Blaming others undermines your ability to “take responsibility for…your own life.” One expert writes: “Instead of becoming stronger you become weaker. People think if they admit to being part of the problem it means they’ve failed in some way. In reality the opposite is true. It takes strength to concede that everyone involved played a part. Another side effect of blame throwing is self-righteousness. In your mind you become unassailable, different, and better than others. You think you’re the strong one and other people are flawed. Nothing could be further from the truth; the Bible says, ‘The bigger the ego, the harder the fall” (Proverbs 16:18 TM). When you blame others you lose your ability to see what’s really going on. And you’re shocked when you lose a relationship or a job because you never saw it coming…When you stop blaming others you develop compassion. You realize mistakes are natural and inevitable – and they’re just mistakes. They can be corrected. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or other people.” So: “Take responsibility for…your own life.”
Soul food: Exo 13-15; John 1:43-51; Ps 131; Prov 26:7-9
2018-10-10
Romans 14:12 KJV
Ever seen a flamethrower in the movies? It’s a fiery torch designed to destroy people. “Blame throwers” do the same. When life doesn’t go their way, instead of taking responsibility for their decisions and actions they blame others. And there’s no shortage of scapegoats. For example: My business would have succeeded if the banker had loaned me more money…I wanted to be part of the ministry team but my husband didn’t like the idea…The doctor botched the operation. But when it comes to blame-shifting, there’s no wiggle room as far as God’s Word is concerned: “Every one of us shall give account of himself.” The problem with blame-shifting is that it stops you from taking constructive action and moving on with your life. As psychologist Dr. Brenda Shoshanna observes: “Each person you blame is holding on to a piece of your personal power and self-respect…Taking responsibility for what’s happening in your life is one of the most empowering things you can do. New choices become available…your anger is reduced…you see people and events with new eyes. Remember, responsibility can also be read as response-ability: the ability to respond instead of reacting.” No question – it can be intimidating to take charge of your life, but you’ll be amazed at the joy and freedom it brings. Will you make mistakes along the way? Of course! Will you stumble and fall? Sure! But there’s nothing like that feeling of stepping out in faith, and with God’s help taking the next step.
Soul food: Exo 10-12; John 1:29-42; Ps 29; Prov 26:4-6
Romeine 14:12 NLV
In plaas daarvan om verantwoordelikheid vir hulle dade en besluite te neem wanneer die lewe verkeerd gaan, plaas blameerders die skuld daarvoor op ander mense. Daar is ook nie ‘n tekort aan sondebokke nie. Byvoorbeeld: My besigheid sou suksesvol gewees het as die bank net meer geld aan my wou leen… Ek wou deel van die bedieningspan wees, maar my man hou nie van die idee nie… Die dokter het ‘n gemors van die operasie gemaak. Daar is egter nie plek vir die verskuiwing van blaam in God se Woord nie: ‘Elkeen van ons sal dus oor ons eie doen en late voor God verantwoording moet doen.’ Die probleem met die verskuiwing van blaam is dat dit jou daarvan weerhou om konstruktiewe aksie te neem en met jou lewe aan te beweeg. Soos die sielkundige, dr Brenda Shoshanna, opmerk: ‘Elke persoon wat jy blameer hou ‘n deel van jou persoonlike krag en selfrespek vas. Om verantwoordelikheid vir dit wat in jou lewe gebeur te neem, is een van die mees bemagtigende dinge wat jy kan doen. Nuwe keuses word beskikbaar… jou woede neem af… jy sien mense en gebeurtenisse met nuwe oë. Onthou, verantwoordelikheid kan ook as ver-antwoord-elikheid gelees word: dis die vermoë om te antwoord eerder as om net te reageer.’ Ja, dit kan intimiderend wees om beheer van jou eie lewe te neem, maar jy sal verwonderd wees oor die vreugde en vryheid wat dit meebring. Sal jy langs die pad foute maak? Natuurlik! Sal jy struikel en val? Verseker! Daar is egter niks soos die gevoel om in geloof, met God se hulp, die volgende tree te neem nie.
Sielskos: Eks 10-12; Joh 1:29-42; Ps 29; Spr 26:4-6
2018-10-09
Exodus 3:5 NKJV
Jewish scholars used to debate why God revealed Himself to Moses in the middle of the desert. Why not a highly populated or religiously significant place? The consensus was that God wanted to show “that no place on earth, not even a thorn bush, is devoid of God’s presence.” Pastor and author A. W. Tozer wrote: “God is above, but He’s not pushed up. He’s beneath, but He’s not pressed down. He’s outside, but He’s not excluded. He’s inside, but He’s not confined. God is above all things presiding, beneath all things sustaining, outside all things embracing, and inside all things fulfilling.” And here’s the best part: “God…works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13 NKJV). Today God is living within you, working within you, and giving you a desire to do the things that please Him. And here’s an interesting thought. Since God lives within you, don’t go anywhere that you know He wouldn’t be pleased to go, or get into situations you know He wouldn’t be pleased to be in. When you feel wrong about being with a certain person, or in a certain place, pay attention. It may be the Holy Spirit telling you that you don’t belong there and you shouldn’t be doing that. Is God being narrow-minded? No; He wants only the best for you, so He’s protecting you from harm. The Bible says, “For the Lord God is a…shield…no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11 NKJV). Today wherever you go, remember that God is there!
Soul food: Exo 7-9; John 1:14-28; Ps 92; Prov 26:1-3
