2022-02-12
Spreuke 13:18 NLV
Ons geniet nie konfrontasie nie, maar dis onmoontlik om daarsonder te groei. Gesonde konfrontasie vereis dat ons ‘…in liefde by die waarheid bly…’ (Efesiërs 4:15 AFR83), teenoor diegene wat ons liefhet. Net soos God ons in areas waar ons nodig het om te groei konfronteer, verwag Hy van ons om dieselfde vir ander te doen. Is dit maklik? Nee.
Hier is egter ‘n paar leidende beginsels om jou te help: 1) Praat met die persoon, nie van hulle nie. Gesonde konfrontasie moet direk wees en waar moontlik, in privaatheid plaasvind. Dit verg deurdagte kommunikasie wat op ‘n ferm, maar genadige wyse oorgedra word. Hanteer mense wat seer het, versigtig.
2) Moenie oordryf of geestelike mooipraatjies gebruik nie. Gee spesifieke voorbeelde. Moenie agter woorde soos: ‘Ek glo dat die Here my gewys het dat jy verkeerd is,’ wegkruip nie. Toe die profeet Natan vir koning Dawid oor sy sonde met Batseba gekonfronteer het, was hy spesifiek. Hou ook jou emosies in bedwang; laat genoeg tyd tussen die oortreding en die konfrontasie toe sodat jy enige woede wat jy voel, met gebed kan ontlont.
3) Moenie hulle skuldig laat voel nie; help hulle. Moenie iemand los om daaroor te tob sonder om vir hulle duidelike aanwysings te gee hoe om te verbeter nie. Dis nie regverdig nie en dis nie konstruktief nie. Jou doelwit is nie om iemand te ontbloot nie, maar om vir hulle ‘n beter manier te wys.
4) Moenie krities wees nie; wees meelewend. As jy alles anders nalaat, moenie hierdie beginsel nalaat nie! As jy dit doen, sal jy jouself bevind waar jy veroordeel, eerder as wat jy konfronteer. As jy eerlik is, sal jy erken dat jou paadjie na sukses ‘n paar slaggate gehad het – benader ander mense dus met liefde en besorgdheid.
Sielskos: Jes 30-33; Luk 9:37-45; Ps 145:1-13; Spr 4:20-22
2021-12-19
1 Kings 3:9 NCV
‘The LORD appeared to [Solomon] in a dream during the night. God said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you”‘ (v.5 NCV). Solomon said, ‘I ask that you give me a heart that understands, so I can rule the people in the right way and will know the difference between right and wrong’ (v.9 NCV). Next, we read, ‘The LORD was pleased that Solomon had asked this (v.10 NCV). But God hadn’t finished talking to Solomon: ‘I will also give you what you did not ask for: riches and honour. During your life no other king will be as great as you’ (v.13 NCV). Discernment made Solomon one of the greatest kings who ever reigned.
You’ve probably heard the saying ‘Go with your gut feeling.’ But discernment is much more than that. It doesn’t rely only on intuition, intellect, or experience. The writer of Proverbs says, ‘Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths’ (Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV).
There are two kinds of discernment: natural discernment and spiritual discernment. The first can fail us; the second never will. When natural discernment can’t take us any further, spiritual discernment enables us to keep going with faith and confidence. How do we recognise the difference? James tells us, ‘The wisdom that comes from God is first of all pure, then peaceful, gentle, and easy to please. This wisdom is always ready to help those who are troubled and to do good for others. It is always fair and honest’ (James 3:17 NCV). That’s what we’re aiming for, and that’s what God will give us when we ask Him for discernment.
Jer 31:31-37; Heb 8:1-13; 2 Cor 3:1
2020-11-10
Hebreërs 4:15 NLV
Alhoewel die inheemse Indiane in Amerika nie ‘n formele geskrewe alfabet gehad het voor hulle die Europeërs ontmoet het nie, was hulle taal alles behalwe primitief. Die woordeskat van baie inheemse tale was net so groot soos hulle Franse en Engelse oorwinnaars s’n en hulle uitdrukkings was dikwels baie meer welsprekend. In een taal, word die konsep van die woord ‘vriend’ byvoorbeeld gestel as ‘die een wat my sorge op sy of haar rug dra.’
Wat ‘n wonderlike definisie! Wanneer iemand na jou toe kom vir troos of raad, wil hulle dikwels net iemand hê wat gewillig is om te luister en met wie hulle hul sorge kan deel. Wanneer jou antwoord oppervlakkig is, neem hulle soms aan dat jy nie tyd vir hulle het nie. Een van die mooiste dinge wat in die Bybel van Jesus gesê is, is dat Hy ‘ten volle met ons in ons swakhede [kan] saamvoel.’ Partykeer wil ‘n vriend net weet dat jy verstaan waardeur hulle gaan en dat jy omgee. Hier is hoe jy kan help:
1) Luister met ‘n oop hart, eerder as om hulle probleem te probeer wegpraat.
2) As hulle huil, deel hulle trane. As hulle stil is, deel hulle stilte.
3) Laat hulle weet dat jy beskikbaar is, gereed is om te help en dat jy altyd vir hulle sal tyd hê.
4) Herinner hulle dat mense net soveel self kan doen, maar dat God die onmoontlike kan doen.
5) As hulle jou toelaat, bid vir hulle en saam met hulle. So kan jy help om die las van hulle skouers af te haal en dit op God se skouers te sit (sien Psalm 55:23).
Sielskos: 1 Kro 7:20-9:44; Joh 9:24-41; Ps 99; Spr 25:26-28
2020-10-14
2 Timothy 4:5 NIV
A woman was sitting in her family room when a small black snake suddenly appeared, slithered across the floor, and made its way under the couch. Being deathly afraid of snakes, she ran to the bathroom to get her husband, who was taking a shower. He came running from the shower with just a towel around his waist, grabbed an old broom handle from the closet, and began poking under the couch. At this point the family dog awakened. Curious to see what was happening, the dog came up behind the husband and touched his cold nose to the back of the man’s heel. The man, thinking the snake had bitten him on the heel, fainted. The wife concluded that her husband had collapsed with a heart attack, so she ran from the house to a hospital just a block away. The ambulance drivers promptly came to her house and placed him on a stretcher. But as they were carrying him out, the snake reappeared from underneath the couch. One of the drivers got so frightened that he dropped his end of the stretcher and broke the man’s leg. Seeing her husband’s twisted leg, the wife collapsed on the spot. Meanwhile, the snake slithered quietly away!
An old African proverb says, “There are forty kinds of lunacy, but only one kind of common sense.” Acting impulsively usually means things will get worse before they get better. So before you panic, calm yourself and ask God for wisdom and help, even in the simplest things.
Soul food: 2 Sam 3:22-7:17; John 3:22-36; Ps 89:38-52; Prov 23:19-21
2 Timothy 4:5 NIV
When we’re faced with a problem or a situation that scares us, our first reaction is often to panic. Panic is our body’s normal reaction to danger as our adrenaline levels increase, and in some circumstances it can be helpful. But if it gets excessive or uncontrollable, it can stop us living a full life. (If you experience panic attacks, or the panic is getting out of control, it’s important to seek help from a doctor or counsellor.)
If we’re experiencing panic, one thing we can do is to bring God into our situation. Fear and panic can make us overreact or make bad decisions, and acting impulsively usually means things will get worse before they get better. When we find ourselves in a stressful situation, we need to try to calm ourselves and ask God for wisdom and help.
Here are some verses from Scripture to help us keep calm and remind us of God’s goodness and love: ‘I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears’ (Psalm 34:4 NLT). ‘Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you’ (1 Peter 5:7 NLT). ‘God will save you from hidden traps and from deadly diseases. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you can hide. His truth will be your shield and protection’ (Psalm 91:3-4 NCV).
It doesn’t matter if the thing we’re worried about would seem trivial to someone else. If we’re worried about it, God cares and wants us to tell Him about how we’re feeling. ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand’ (Isaiah 41:10 NIV).
2 Sam 3:22-7:17; John 3:22-36; Ps 89:38-52; Prov 23:19-21
