Husbands and wives (2)

1 Corinthians 11:3 NAS

Paul writes, “I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.” There is an order to how God operates. Just as Christ was submitted to God, husbands are supposed to be submitted to Christ, and wives are supposed to be submitted to godly husbands. Note the words, “the man is the head of the woman” – not all women. This arrangement doesn’t apply in the workplace or in other relationships. When we fail to honour God’s structure, Satan can enter our homes just as he entered the first home in Eden. “Submission” is an unpopular word today. But when we understand it from a biblical perspective, we see that it’s a positive force to accomplish good, not a negative force to subject women to an inferior status. The Greek word for submission, “hupotasso”, means to willingly place oneself under the authority of another. It doesn’t involve coercion, but rather a willingness to take who and what God made you, and submit it to the authority of another. In the husband’s case, to God, and in the wife’s case, to God and to her husband. Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25 NIV). When a husband loves his wife that way, and gives himself to her, she will gladly submit to his leadership in the home. It’s her husband’s love and protection that releases her into the fullness of her God-given potential.

Soul food: Dan 6:1-24; Acts 12:1-19

Husbands and wives (1)

Genesis 3:6 NKJV

In Genesis, before Eve was created God warned Adam not to eat the forbidden fruit, and it was his responsibility to communicate that to his wife. Clearly, he didn’t do a very good job. As a result he lost his job and they ended up losing their home. Notice, the Devil first approached Eve with the idea of disobeying God. “When the woman saw that the tree was good…She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.” Question: Where was Adam when Eve was being deceived? “With her.” So here’s an important lesson: When a man fails to listen to God and obey Him, he can’t be the leader his wife and family need. He literally opens the door to Satan and allows him to come in and cause chaos in the family. When Satan was trying to sell Eve a bill of goods, Adam stood silently by instead of speaking up and saying, “That’s not right. Unless we follow the path God has laid out for us, we’ll lose everything.” The issue in marriage isn’t about who’s the boss; it’s about honouring the structure God created so everyone in the family can walk in His blessing. The Bible says Satan comes to “steal, kill and destroy” (John 10:10). But when a husband is truly submitted to Christ, he can protect his family. So if you’re a husband, you need to step up to the plate. And if you’re a wife, you need to encourage your husband to walk with God and let him know that it’s an honour and privilege to follow such a man.

Soul food: Col 3-4; Philemon; Mark 11:12-26; Ps 78:17-31; Prov 23:26-28


1 Corinthians 7:32 NIV

In society (and this often includes churches), being married or in a relationship seems like the preferred option, the thing that we’re all supposed to be aiming for in life. And if we remain single, well, it seems to be going against the norm. Not everyone is single out of choice; sometimes it really hurts that you’re not married. It’s okay to feel that hurt. For others, singleness is a conscious decision. They would rather do life unmarried – and that’s okay too. In fact, Paul recommends the single life: ‘Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do’ (1 Corinthians 7:8 NIV). So why does Paul recommend it? Well, being single means we have more opportunity to be focused on God, spending time with Him and seeking His will for our life. The Bible says: ‘But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well’ (Matthew 6:33 NIV). Of course, being married doesn’t mean that you can’t do this, it just means there are more distractions, because part of the God-given responsibility of being married is that you spend time working on your relationship. God doesn’t want us to live in complete isolation. But sharing our lives with someone may not necessarily include getting married. We may be blessed with a large group of friends, or a close family, or a supportive church family. If we’re struggling to handle being single, there’s one thing that we need to remember. Life is happening right now. And Jesus came so that we could have life to the full (take a look at John 10:10). We shouldn’t be seeing marriage as the time when our life starts. We can live our lives to the full right now, single or not.

Gen 14:18-20; Ps 110; Heb 5:5-11

Don’t let jealousy destroy your marriage

1 John 4:18 NLT

Solomon writes, “Jealousy is cruel as the grave” (Song of Solomon 8:6). There are many practical applications for this verse, and one of them is that jealousy can cause the death of a marriage. When you’re jealous of your partner, you distrust them and try to control their every move. And that’s doubly true when someone in your past has betrayed you. Your fear of it happening again can make your spouse feel like his or her feet are always being held to the fire. And if you keep doing it long enough you’ll create the very thing you fear; you’ll end up driving them away. Even if they do stay, they may live in emotional isolation without ever fully giving themselves to you. With that in mind, here’s what the Bible has to say: “We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them…as we live in God, our love grows more perfect…Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear” (1 John 4:16-18 NLT). When you know that God loves you in spite of your imperfections, your sense of self-worth grows and you start believing you are worthy of love. And when that happens, it’s easier to accept that your spouse loves you too and will be faithful. That’s like getting out of prison – a prison of your own making called “jealousy.” Today God wants to set you free from jealousy and give you the relationship you’ve always longed for. Talk to Him about it.

Soul food: 1 Sam 27-31; Mat 24:15-25; Ps 137; Prov 17:22-23

Die waarheid oor die huwelik (1)

Johannes 8:32 NLV

Die idee van ‘die perfekte huwelik’ mislei en ontnugter ons en berei ons voor om op te gee wanneer fantasie met realiteit bots – wat altyd gebeur! Eers wanneer jy die waarheid oor swak, weifelende, frustrerende mense aanvaar – en dat jy ook een is – sal jy blywende geluk in die huwelik vind. Kom ons kyk vir die volgende paar dae na sommige van die algemeenste wanbegrippe oor die huwelik. Die liefdesgogga: Ons dink as ons op die regte plek, op die regte tyd, saam met die regte persoon is, sal die liefdesgogga ons ‘byt’ en sal ons ‘n leeftyd van saligheid smaak. Die probleem is egter wanneer ons doodmoeg is van kinders grootmaak en die huispaaiement moet betaal, verdwyn die liefdesgogga soos mis voor die son. In die daaglikse sleurgang van skottelgoed, doeke en swoeg, moet iets meegee. Dis dan wanneer romanse by die venster uitvlieg en realiteit sy verskyning maak. Omdat ons romanse met ware liefde verwar, dink ons foutiewelik dat liefde verby is. Die waarheid is, die liefde sterf nie omdat romanse die knie voor realiteit moet buig nie. As twee mense wat verlief raak gewillig is om in liefde deur die uitdagings van die lewe saam te staan, kan romanse weer sterker en veerkragtiger as ooit bloei. Romanse mag ons dalk bymekaar uitbring, maar onselfsugtige liefde hou ons bymekaar. Die Bybel sê, ‘Die liefde is geduldig en vriendelik, die liefde is nie jaloers nie, die liefde blaas nie sy eie beuel nie, is nie vol van homself nie. Dit… stel nie sy eie belange voorop nie, is nie kort van draad nie, hou nie boek van die kwaad wat jou aangedoen word nie… Die liefde bly… steeds vertrou, dit hou aan met hoop, dit verduur alles’ (1 Korintiërs 13:4-7 NLV).